Underworld | Chicago Reader

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In a “gothic” city (i.e., Tim Burton's Gotham City) where vampires and werewolves—mostly Brits and a few Americans—have been at war for centuries and everyone falls to the ground in slow motion, Kate Beckinsale, an action vampire, strenuously underacts while everyone else, vampires and werewolves alike, strenuously overacts. She's also the only one permitted to make a fashion statement—one that mainly says “The Matrix rules,” though her black rubber suit suggests Batman again. I spent most of the movie's endless 121 minutes trying to figure out where and how she could buy such a cute outfit in a city where it's always night, there are no stores or restaurants, and the subway is used chiefly for shoot-outs. This is the silliest horror movie I've seen in years, though some of the special effects are pretty good. Len Wiseman directed Danny McBride's ponderous, humorless script, and Scott Speedman costars.

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