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Thoughts to live by, from local actor and bookstore manager Bob Parker, quoted in the new twentysomething magazine Pure (Fall), on his eventual move out of Chicago: "If I couldn't pack everything I own, I would throw it out."

How much do you suppose a married priest would be worth? "U.S. Catholic households contributed less money to their churches and to charities in 1989 than members of any other religious group in the nation," reports the Chicago-based newsletter U.S. Parish (December). "Catholics gave an average of $515, Protestants (all denominations combined) gave an average of $842, Jews gave an average of $1854, and members of other religions gave an average of $1075." How come? "Our informal research shows that the parishes that receive more generous contributions are those in which authority is shared with parishioners and new ideas are welcomed."

Dept. of underwhelming modesty, from a North Pier press release in which Kris Kringle announces his relocation from the North Pole: "I looked everywhere, including New York's 5th Avenue, Los Angeles' Rodeo Drive, and Paris' Champs Elysees, and no place has it all like Chicago's North Pier."

"Congress, in a vote that received little attention at the time, decided the burden for reducing ozone must fall on employers," complains David Roeder in Chicago Enterprise (November). "So it agreed that those employers must turn into 'commuter police.' They must monitor how their employees get to work and encourage them to do it more efficiently." Sounds a bit unjust. On the other hand, the cost and inconvenience of this law may deter employers like Sears from crazed antisocial acts, such as leaving the transportation-efficient Loop for an inaccessible vacant lot in Hoffman Estates.

Decline and fall. "I used to hunt and fish, but the next thing I knew I was township chairman and then county chairman," Illinois state Republican chairman Albert Jourdan of northwest suburban McHenry County tells Robert Heuer in Illinois Issues (August-September). "As you become more involved, you become more interested and more people want you to do things. The next thing I knew I wasn't fishing or golfing anymore."

"When we first floated this idea [the Female Employment Initiative], contractors said, 'Of course we would hire women, but the unions won't send us any,'" recalls Julia Stasch of Stein & Company in Today's Chicago Woman (September). "And the unions said, 'We have women in our ranks both as apprentices and upper-level workers. Of course we'd like to send them to your projects, but the contractors won't request them.' Well, the truth lies somewhere in between. We tried to change that dynamic."

Greedy? Be ethical. "The Parnassus Fund, which avoids investing in South Africa, the military, or alcohol, tobacco and gambling companies, achieved a total return of 10.16 % for the first nine months of 1992," reports Ron Freund & Associates of Evanston. Returns elsewhere in the same period of time: Dow Jones average, 3.25 percent; the average growth fund, 2.84 percent; the S&P 500 index benchmark, 0.17 percent.

And how about :-| if you're bored stiff? "Electronic communications retain much of the immediacy of live conversation, yet lack much of the social context, such as intonation, gesture, and facial expression, advises the Electronic Community, a University of Chicago newsletter. It recommends the following "netiquette": "When you tell a joke, accompany it with a smile :-). When you want to wink, type ;-). If you're less than pleased, give a :-(. And if these don't look like faces to you, tilt your head to the left."

"I took, in college, television studio courses and found them to be very militaristic," Jim Morrissette tells Video (November-December). "Everyone had one thing that they could do. They couldn't touch anything else. Women weren't allowed to hang lights because they might fall. I couldn't deal with it [the sexism]. So, I was much more enthusiastic about portable, personal [video] technology."

The best representatives money can buy. Average total resources available to the average congressional incumbent for the 1992 election: $626,711. Available to the average challenger: $112,382. Average Political Action Committee receipts available a to the incumbent: $220,819. To the challenger: $17,473 (Common Cause News, November 6).

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Carl Kock.

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