Songs of Expedience: A Political Cabaret | Year In Review | Chicago Reader

Songs of Expedience: A Political Cabaret 

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George Dunne's Farewell

(to the tune of "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling")

When George Dunne's foes are smiling,

sure it's not a pretty sight.

O, I hate to leave the action

of an intraparty fight.

But laughter is contagious,

and I'll have the last, I guess.

For without me on the ticket,

they are making an awful mess.

The Teddy Lechowicz Polka

(to the tune of "The Beer Barrel Polka")

I'm Teddy Lechowicz.

I'm at the top of the slate.

County Board President,

For an unknown, ain't that great?

Why did they choose me

for anything higher than Clerk?

It's because I'm not Stanley Kusper,

and I'm not Ed Burke.

Danny Davis's Lament

(to the tune of "Old Man River")

Danny Davis, I'm Danny Davis

I'll keep on runnin', till I win somethin'.

I'm Danny Davis, I just keep runnin' along.

I don't get slated, or backed for mayor,

I ran for Congress, the votes weren't there.

Why do I keep on, keep on runnin' along?

In my ward, I've got the touch. In my ward, I'm loved so much.

But once outside, the magic's gone. Yet I won't quit, I'll still plug on.

When they're ready for a reformer,

that's when I'll be a star performer.

Then Danny Davis will be the one who is strong.

Dawn Clark Netsch's Anthem

(to the tune of "I Am Woman")

I'm Comptroller, hear me crow, every politician knows,

there are times you have to take the job that's there.

When you see an Illinois check that is signed by Dawn Clark Netsch

Please don't shed your pity, I don't care.

Yes, I would like, to be attorney ge-ne-ral

But, now I can't, and that's the way it happens, pal.

I am Dawn,

and I am practical.

I'm Comptroller!

The Eddie Eisendrath Song

(to the tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb")

I am Eddie Eisendrath, Eisendrath, Eisendrath,

I am Eddie Eisendrath, your future congressman.

I'll defeat that old man Yates, old man Yates, he ain't so great,

I'll defeat that old man Yates, yes I'm sure I can.

Why should voters vote for me, vote for me, vote for me?

Why should people vote for me? La la la la la.

I'm rich and handsome don't you see, don't you see, don't you see?

I'm rich and handsome don't you see? Ha ha ha ha ha.

What are my accomplishments, accomplishments, accomplishments?

What are my accomplishments? You don't have to ask.

I can raise a million bucks, TV ads, cost that much.

I can raise a million bucks, for me a simple task.

Mike Sheahan's Band

(to the tune of "MacNamara's Band")

My name is Michael Sheahan, I'm a member of the band.

The Irish pols from Beverly, oh aren't we something grand?

Our parents tell us when we're young that it would be a sin

to run for office anytime unless we're sure we'll win.

Take Tommy Hynes from Beverly, his mama's favorite boy.

When he announced for mayor, O, it filled her heart with joy.

But then he trailed Vrdolyak and showed his Irish guts,

He quit the race with days to go, looking like a putz.

In '86 Jim O'Grady filled my heart with fear.

For sheriff I decided I could run another year.

But now he's weak, his job I seek, I think it's time to go

and sweep aside the other Dem, that puny Mo-lar-o.

Luis Gutierrez's Cancion

(to the tune of "La cucaracha")

I'm Gutierrez, I'm Gutierrez, I'm the top Latino pol

I'm Gutierrez, I'm Gutierrez, with a friend at City Hall.

I'll go to Congress, I'll go to Congress, that's the thing I want to do.

And how I get there, I really don't care, doesn't matter who I screw.

An independent, in '87, I supported Washington.

But then when he died, I had to switch sides, I knew Richie was the one.

My old compadre, Miguel del Valle, we were brothers in reform,

But now the new boss, he wants Miguel lost, so I back Ms. DeLeon.

Cecil Partee's Rap

(to a rap rhythm)

Greetings you all, I'm sure you know me

I'm the one they call Cecil Partee

I'm the best lawyer, don't you know,

because George Dunne he told me so.

The brothers don't like me, they think I'm a hack

They say I ain't no movement black

But I'm a supporter of Richie D.

And that's why I am state's attorney.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustrations/Kurt Mitchell.

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