Serious About Dildos | Letters | Chicago Reader

Serious About Dildos 

Dear Editor:

As commodore of my own virtual flagship company, Universal Dildonics, I'm happy to see that the Reader has left behind the days of astonishingly long cover stories on prairie chickens and the like--and replaced them with astonishingly long fare on masturbation machines [November 4] and foreskin [March 10].

These pieces resemble poker-faced and greatly elongated versions of the kooky routines I've entertained my friends with over many cocktails through the years, and I applaud the Reader's almost alchemical talent at turning such absurd topics into novella-length cover stories.

I myself have predicted that the dildo will become and remain the supreme image of the 90s--hence my beloved Universal Dildonics--and when the Reader stops merely skirting the issue of this most practical of all prostheses and dedicates five or six thousand words and a small hardwood forest of newsprint to the topic it will finally become Chicago's greatest newspaper.

Kevin Orth

W. North

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