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Hey, Everybody:

About a month ago I ran a letter from Dodging Bullets, a woman with a rather inconsiderate boyfriend: during vaginal intercourse, her boyfriend would pull out and blow his load--as the kids like to say--all over her face. My, my, my. She'd asked him to knock it off, but the more she protested, the more turned on he seemed.

A couple of weeks later, I ran a letter from Been There. He felt that since men get women's juices all over their faces during cunnilingus, Dodging Bullets and other women have no right to object when men get their own juices all over women's faces. After all, Been There wrote, isn't come and pussy juice basically the same? "I'd just like to know this from women out there," Been There asked in closing: "Is come really that nasty? And do you think pussy juice tastes that wonderful?"

Well, great globs of mail have landed on my desk in response to Been There's questions. My new research assistant, Stephen Glass, faithfully and accurately entered your letters, ladies. Here's a splattering of your responses.

As soon as I saw an invitation to answer the question "Is come really that nasty?" I had to jump at the chance to tell all men: YES!!! It is!!!

It tastes like hot, salty shampoo. Not that I've tasted hot, salty shampoo, but I know hot, and I know salty, and I know the consistency of shampoo. Put those three together and you've got come. I love to give head, but it's the intimacy and sexiness of a blow job that brings me to my knees, not the taste. I know guys love girls to swallow, but they should try it themselves first.

--Spitter

I have had a lot of sex, both recreational and professional, and I have two words to say to the guy who compared having a guy shoot his spunk in your face to eating pussy: Velocity. Consistency.

These two factors make eating pussy--when a fairly thin substance oozes out at a uniform rate, which gravity causes to flow in a downward direction (if the woman is on her back)--different from having a guy shoot wads of a thick, mucusy substance in your face. I have had spunk in my eye, and it is painful. When you eat pussy, you can keep her lubrication out of your eyes--and your hair, and your nose. Also, let's not kid ourselves: coming on a lover's face is a dominant thing to do. I deal with dominance and submission issues for a living, and I assure you, there is no egalitarian way to squirt your come on someone's face. It's a top thing to do. Eating pussy, on the other hand, has a lot more flexibility in terms of the perceived power of the participants.

So squirt or don't, as your lover pleases--but lapping at someone's sugar bush does not equal splooging on her face.

--Mistress Matisse

I am a breeder babe with a healthy sexual appetite. If I'm sucking dick (something I enjoy) and the guy pulls out and comes on my face, chest, hair--whatever--I don't get all upset. I mean, it's SEX! I don't expect it to be a wholesome and clean activity. To be honest, though, I don't enjoy swallowing: come is too thick and goopy. As for pussy juice, I personally have no idea why on earth guys want to go down on me. I don't think pussy juice tastes great, and a man going down on me does nothing for me. I think guys are brainwashed: "This is what women like, so I'll fulfill my quota of pussy licking so I can fuck her."

--ABF

A man's come is not "nasty," but I would rather take it in my mouth than on my face. If you like to see yourself come, what's wrong with coming on my tits?

--Mary

My man and I have sex in every position we can imagine, so I have gotten quite a lot of come on my face. Sometimes it stings my eyes, but I still like it because it comes from my loving man. Getting each other's juices all over our bodies is just a part of passionate sex. My man can come on me all he wants, but if I ever suspected his intention was to humiliate me, I would drop him faster than you can swallow.

--Sticky

I had a lover once who really enjoyed coming on my face. We both agreed the impulse stemmed from an enjoyment of things degrading, and we both liked it. For the woman Been There was responding to, who was uncomfortable about that aspect of it, maybe it wasn't about come being nasty but about control and about the humiliating feeling of having semen shot on her face. It's a feeling--the shooting, the humiliation--that I happen to like. But that's just me.

--Done That

Men who smoke, drink, eat junk food, or drink a lot of coffee have foul come. Tobacco use, in particular, results in very nasty-tasting come. (Add that to the list of reasons to stop smoking!) I would imagine the same is true for pussies. I don't smoke, drink, or eat those things, and I've received only glowing compliments.

As for how I feel about my lover coming on my face: When it's happened by accident, I was OK with it. No one has wanted to do that intentionally with me, like Dodging Bullets's boyfriend. However, I personally would find it degrading, and it would piss me off. When I've seen it happen in porn movies, I've thought it looked ridiculous.

--Thanks for Asking

Trust me. There's nothing wrong with having a guy spray his load on your tits and face! It's great! I was 15 when I first had sex (with a fellow 15-year-old). It was a forbidden act in a forbidden place (he slipped the lock at a dance school--all those mirrors!), and I damn near OD'd on adrenaline from the rush of it all. I knew guys made sperm "down there," but I was totally clueless about ejaculation until he suddenly pulled out and exploded all over me. I screamed and was freaked out, but I was amazed and elated at the same time. It's been 20 years, but I still get wet just thinking about it. Every time I ask a guy to pop a wad on my face, he looks like he's died and gone to heaven. Too bad about my hair--but that's why they sell shampoo.

--Pearly White

I have a question for Been There: Why poll women all across the country through Dan's column? I mean, you've got your own little spoo factory right between your legs. Take your own taste test and you'll find out if come is all "that nasty." Better yet, jerk off in a turkey baster and let your girlfriend squirt it in your face. I know my sex partners are turned on by seeing me enjoy my own juices. Maybe if Been There's girlfriend sees him lapping up his own spoo, she might want some too.

--Finger-Lickin' Good

Next week: the men who like to come on women's faces explain themselves.

Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611.

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