Police Scanner | Police Scanner & Petty Crime | Chicago Reader

Police Scanner 

Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe

Tuesday, March 7, 12:25 AM

Unidentified caller: I thought she said she was saving herself for later.

Dispatcher: That's exactly what she said.

Unidentified caller: Well, I wish I could have been there.

Dispatcher: You know what? It's not too late.

Unidentified caller number two: I wish I was a dispatcher.

Dispatcher: What really are you?

Unidentified caller number two: [silence]

Dispatcher: Hey, you marchin' in the Saint Patrick's Day parade too Sunday?

Unidentified caller number two: Can't drink and march.

Tuesday, March 7, 10:50 PM

Dispatcher: OK, Marquette-42.

1042: Yes sir, we assisted 2513 and you can dupe this job to him, he's gonna finish it up. He believes Stash is gonna have to give a specimen.

Dispatcher: I hate it when that happens. Are you thinkin' about lunch yet, or have you dined already?

1042: Listen to this, man. I'm goin' on a diet. And I'm gonna take my half hour in a while. Whatta you got?

Dispatcher: Oh, the cab of life hit ya square between the eyes, or what?

1042: No, my clothes are startin' not to fit. I'm too cheap to buy new ones.

Dispatcher: You mean you're not spendin' that uniform allowance for clothes?

Unidentified caller: Buyin' Serbian liquor.

Tuesday, March 7, 11:00 PM

Dispatcher: 1045, if you would, I got a fire--23-- Trumbull. Somebody who couldn't make a car payment, I guess.

1045: OK, we're comin' from the north end.

Dispatcher: It'll be out by the time you get there. 1147?

1147: Make it a 19-Paul at Bethany. They

don't want a report. They said they won the fight.

Dispatcher: There ya go.

Unidentified caller: Drop the chalupa.

Tuesday, March 7, 11:05 PM

Dispatcher: I've heard you have a talent for this--on a domestic, 18-- Harding, see the basement.

1042: That's me. I can save the marriage

or I have the authority to dissolve it on the spot.

Unidentified caller: After they look at him, it dissolves.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Jeffrey Felshman

  • Potty Poet

    Potty Poet

    Armed with gum tack and verse, Sid Yiddish is turning public bathrooms into alternative spaces for reflection.
    • Aug 21, 2008
  • Hell in a Cell

    Hell in a Cell

    Tamms supermax prison was built to punish disruptive inmates with temporary solitary confinement. Yet Reginald Berry spent the better part of eight years there—and he was luckier than many.
    • Apr 24, 2008
  • Books/No Wiseguys Just Guys

    Ex-journalist Donald Evans turns his stint as a gambler and bookie into a debut novel.
    • Feb 8, 2007
  • More »

Agenda Teaser

Performing Arts
Manic Mondays Frances Cocktail Lounge
November 20
October 21

Tabbed Event Search

Popular Stories