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Not Cool Enough 

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To the editors:

Kudos to Bill Wyman for hyping rappers 3rd Bass (Critic's Choice, May 3). The 3rds have proven that they're not just the best white rappers around (well, tied with the obnoxiously brilliant Beastie Boys), but that they're among the best rappers period.

Mr. Wyman, I trust you wouldn't have spotlighted 3rd Bass's appearance at the nightclub Shelter if you'd known that the group's most dedicated fans were likely to be turned away at the door. The reason? Not cool enough.

That's right, Chicago, we've got a nightclub with authentic New York style "exclusivity." If you're hip, you've found "Shelter" from the oppression of the square world. But if you're not (weed yourselves out as we go along): a close personal friend of one of the goons working the door, a hot chick, European in image (sorry, Black/Hispanic/Asian rap audience), dressed in impeccably cutting-edge threads as seen in (insert name of hottest clubkid fashion rag here), or willing to sacrifice your dignity in hope of breaking the stoic disdain of said goons, then seek your fun elsewhere. Unless, of course, you think it's fun to press up against a barricade for two hours and be treated like a worthless piece of shit.

To Mr. Wyman I say, (a) Love ya, keep up the good work; and (b) For the sake of us hopelessly uncool people who read, admire, and support you, please don't ever again endorse an event hosted by Shelter or its affiliates. To the goons I say: When you eventually decide, as you must, to get a real job, I pray your first interview is with me. You'll witness the ugly spectacle of a man using his little power to negate the worth of another human being, but this time it won't give you that nice warm feeling. To the organization flack who might concoct some seemingly plausible explanation as to why they didn't let me pay my money to see one of the few groups that matters in my life, I say: Fuck you.

Ben Kim

The 3rd Bass Constituency

PS: So how was the show, Mr. Wyman?

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