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Night Spies 

This week at: Jackhammer

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I came here after work one night with my friends Liz, a tall Irish woman, and Anke, a tall German woman. We sat at the bar for a few as Anke went on about these wonderful plastic earrings she'd been given earlier that night as a gift by a friend. The friend meant them as a joke--"Oh, these would be fabulous on you." But Anke really loved them. She took the joke and made it real: her friend had given her this little love token, and she insisted that the earrings were "gorgeous, just gorgeous." They were small plastic daisies--white with a yellow center--clip-ons--and they were probably the ugliest things we'd ever seen. Anke proceeded to parade them around to everyone in the bar, repeating that they were "gorgeous, just gorgeous." After a round of shots we decided to hit the dance floor. We were dancing and gyrating, and Anke stripped off her belt, wrapped it around Liz, and they start doing this kinda Showgirls dance with belts and grinds and writhing on the floor, and those earrings never flew off. "Not only are they beautiful, they're practical," Anke said, getting up off the floor. She wouldn't allow anyone else to try them on--"These are my diamonds," she insisted. Of course, we've never seen them again. It was just a little one-night joke, a lapse in good taste. --Darryl Jendrzejak, chef

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