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Night Spies 

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Sitting outdoors here reminds me of something that happened when I was on vacation in Puerto Vallarta with friends. We were at this open-air bar, and this girl bumped into me and we started talking. As we were getting acquainted, two guys in suits came up and told her it was time to go. She asked me, "Do you want to go and have a good time?" and I said, "Why not?" and she pulled me outside, escorted by the two guys. As we walked out the front another guy in a suit got out of a Mercedes. (All the guys were in Armani or Hugo Boss suits.) He started yelling obscenities in Spanish at her, and immediately the bouncer was waving me back into the bar. I went behind the turnstile and said, "Nothing happened." He stepped up to me--I'm 6'4" and I was standing up one step--and the guy was pretty short, and he slapped me so hard that he fell on the ground. As he fell, two more guys got out of the Mercedes and there were now four guys surrounding him. The bouncer said, "You need to stay out of this situation," and I walked up to my friends who were like, "What just happened?" "I think I was just bitch slapped by a drug kingpin," I said. Twenty minutes later the girl came back and again tried to get me to leave with her! I decided that, whatever she was offering, I didn't want it that badly.

--Andy Sullivan, trader

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