Night Spies | Night Spies | Chicago Reader

Night Spies 

We are at the Turkish Cuisine and Bakery.

This is the kind of place where you sit back and relax, and everybody tells stories. Here's the one I've been telling recently: I was on vacation in Belize, where they have a primate reserve. I had broken away from the group and gone off by myself when I accidentally disturbed a colony of howler monkeys--babies and mothers--on the ground. The babies started screaming, the male came charging through the trees, and all the monkeys started throwing fruit and twigs and monkey doo-doo at me. I started running, and the male chased me, screaming, all the way to the end of their territory. I was covered with monkey doo-doo, and it was five miles from inside the reserve to the highway. I stood by the side of the highway, and when I finally flagged down a bus the driver opened the door and said, "Whoa, you can't get on. You smell too bad." So I started walking toward where I was staying, 35 miles away. I passed a man in the ditch with a machete cutting weeds, and I realized after a while that he was following me. I saw a bus stop ahead, and as I was walking toward it he came up, put his hand on my shoulder, spun me around, and put the machete up to my neck. To be continued...

--Mona Bingham, paralegal

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