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Night Spies 

We are at Star Gaze.

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I used to come here every Sunday with the Chicago Women's Rugby Team. I don't play for them, but I have friends that do. Star Gaze is not as intense as the Spin-Berlin tragically hip atmosphere. It's a great neutral spot. We would come to check out the karaoke. My friends would urge me to get up to sing because I used to do theater, but I'm terrified onstage. One of my friends signed me up anyway. The one song that I knew without looking at the prompter was "I Will Survive," plus I'm a large black woman and I figured it kinda fit the stereotype. Everything was going fine until the disc began to skip and I began singing over and over, "Oh no not I, Oh no not I, Oh no not I." The DJ pulled the sound; I thought I was off the hook. A couple of morons started yelling for me to sing a cappella, and I said, "You must be on crack." The DJ was gesturing at me, waving another disc, and it was more frightening than the first time. I told him, "If this disc starts skipping then it's a sign from God and I'm stopping." But it didn't. Everybody was up and dancing, and people started tipping me. I made like four bucks.

--Heather Carper, executive assistant


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