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According to an August story in the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, Anne Victoria Moore has been hounding Kevin Moore, 45, with legal actions, claiming that he's the Kevin Moore who was once married to her. First she placed a claim on his house, then on his bank account, and, in the latest action, filed charges against him for failing to pay child support. She perseveres even though various government agencies have informed her that the man she's harassing is 11 years older and six inches shorter than her ex-husband, and looks nothing like him.

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

A July dispatch by the German news service Deutsche Presse Agentur reported on Beijing's trendy oxygen bars, where young professionals can unwind at the end of a hard day in an increasingly polluted city by inhaling fresh air for about $6 an hour. Special herbs and spices, some of which have medicinal qualities, can be mixed in for a higher price.

According to its recent press release, Kevis Rejuvenation Programs Inc., a Beverly Hills firm, is marketing a hair restoring shampoo that contains a cloned version of hyaluronic acid, which is found in human sperm and adds body to the hair. Kevis charges $25 for a bottle of this shampoo.

Evelyn Daniels, 27, was rearrested in June in Fort Lauderdale, where she'd been under house arrest on several drug charges. According to police, her latest crime occurred when she was short on cash. She sold the court's monitoring device that kept tabs on her to a pawnshop for $5.

According to a September Los Angeles Times article, the Park Bench Cafe in Huntington Beach, California, offers its diners a menu for their dogs. Items for the dozen dogs that might accompany their owners to dine on a good day range from a plate of five dog biscuits (50 cents) to a ground turkey patty ($2.25). Dogs must be on a leash, sit on the floor, and eat from disposable plates.

A September Wall Street Journal story about emerging roadside attractions in China featured Mr. Qian's Flying Dragon World Fun City, a reptile showplace that headlines a woman buried up to her neck in writhing snakes. After the show, a worker sipping a glass of snake-juice wine told the reporter, "You have Disney, but we have snakes."

In July Margie Ostrower of Scarsdale, New York, formed Time of the Month Inc., and introduced her own blend of chocolate and "salty crunchy things" that she plans to market to women as a menstrual snack, PMS Crunch.

In May, the New York Times magazine featured a line of fashions created, modeled, and sold by inmates of the Oregon prison system. The jeans, shirts, and jackets of the Prison Blues label are carried in about 400 stores in the United States. Almost all the profits go to the prisoner workers (with deductions for taxes, room, board, and victim compensation).

Well Put

Police investigators who were confronting John Sadogierski of Wausau, Wisconsin, about killing and eating a trumpeter swan and a sandhill crane asked him what the crane tasted like. Sadogierski allegedly replied, "Bald eagle."

According to the Houston Chronicle, Judge Eugene Chambers expressed his displeasure in August at guards requiring him to display his photo badge before entering the court building by saying, "Up your [deleted] with a bucket of red paint."

"Wild" Bill Goodwin, 71, telling police investigators in May that he wasn't conducting orgies at his home in Costa Mesa, California: "We're not just taking off our clothes and having sex. We've also got karaoke."

Tampa sheriff's officer David Parrish, admiring the failed escape attempt of inmate Ralph Johnson, who had a can of pepper spray concealed in his rectum: "Some people are more talented than others."

Heidi Ansell had a hard time getting local police to oust drunken revelers who were urinating into her yard from the fence of an adjacent motel, which sits on a border between the California towns of Torrance and Lomita. After each jurisdiction passed off responsibility to the other, she said, "Well, I guess if [the revelers] are standing on the fence urinating, then their butts are in Torrance and their penises are in Lomita."

Thinning the Herd

In September Robert Kevin Brown, 31, passed away after his truck plunged into a ravine alongside I-95 in Prince William County, Virginia. According to state police, Brown thought the traffic, at 55 miles per hour, was moving too slowly and leaned out his window to gesture to another driver, which caused him to lose control of his vehicle.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Shawn Belschwender.


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