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In October in Clayton, Missouri, Roy McCarthy, 36, was charged with assault in three incidents in which he allegedly posed as a doctor and tried to rub men's feet. In the latest incident, he was accused of dropping gallon jugs of wine on the feet of three clerks at Dierberg's Market. One clerk hobbled to the storeroom with a broken foot and was followed by McCarthy, who said, "Let me take a look at your foot. I'm a doctor," whereupon McCarthy "manipulated" and "massaged" the foot, according to the clerk.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

A bank robber in Saint Leonards, Australia, was killed in August when he leaned over the teller's counter to check the drawer at the same time that the teller activated a bulletproof steel screen, which rose from the counter and crushed the robber's head between it and the top of the teller's cage. The robber screamed to his accomplice for help, but the other man fled.

Rudolfo Naranjo, 49, died of a heart attack as he was cleaning out a safe in the middle of robbing the Bill Miller Bar-B-Q restaurant in San Antonio in August. His two accomplices dragged him toward the back door and yelled for employees to call an ambulance but then decided to leave Naranjo behind and flee with their $60 booty.

In Nashville in July, 85-year-old Addie Davis stopped a burglar in her home by repeatedly hitting him over the head with a six-pack of canned Sprite. The burglar, 24-year-old Kenneth D. Huggins, had entered through a window and was already badly cut by broken glass, and Davis said he begged her to just kill him and put him out of his misery. Said a police officer, "He was cut worse than any human I've ever seen."

Louis Vaughn Hooper, 50, was burned to death in Dallas in October when his getaway car smashed into a tree and exploded in a ball of flames. He had just committed a service-station robbery in which his take was $9 worth of gasoline.

Wayne McLaren, 49, filed a lawsuit in Santa Ana, California, in September against his physician, who McLaren says failed to diagnose his lung cancer in time for treatment. McLaren is a former male model who once portrayed the "Marlboro man" in cigarette ads and was a pack-and-a-half-a-day smoker for 25 years.

Just Can't Stop Myself

Herbert G. Fisher, the former official Virginia state archaeologist, serving 20 years in prison for murdering his wife, was discovered in August trying to dig his way out of Gloucester County Jail.

Alexander Paulsen, 25, was struck and killed by a train near Anchorage, Alaska, in August, while lying on the tracks in precisely the same spot he had been lying when struck by a train four years earlier. Police said he had been drinking before both episodes.

Two Minnesota law firms (including Dorsey & Whitney, the state's largest) were each fined $50,000 this summer for exceeding the page limit on briefs filed in an age-discrimination lawsuit. The limit is 40 pages, which each firm exceeded by more than 600 pages.

Rex Layne Millender, 37, on the lam for bank robbery in Alabama, was arrested in Dothan in April for shoplifting an 89-cent carton of orange juice.

Ettore Gagliano, 83, was arrested outside a cathedral in Milan, Italy, in July for hitting Dom Timoteo Moschopolos, 69, a Greek orthodox priest, marking the 59th time Gagliano had been charged with assaulting a priest. He reportedly yelled "Thieves!" during the assault and told police: "I don't like priests. When I see one, I just have to give him a punch in the ear. There is nothing you can do to save priests from me. I shall bash them all until my last breath." He is usually released from custody because of his advanced age, and Milan priests are warned about Gagliano when they first come to the area.

Anthony Galante, 31, a New York City computer analyst, was accused by police in July of having made 30,000 obscene phone calls in New York and Connecticut. His preferred scheme was to tell a woman that he was holding a family member hostage and that she should stand outside her house naked as he drove by. Police estimate Galante was successful in one out of every 100 phone calls.

Hillary Parker was arrested in Louisville in February and charged with robbing Citizens Fidelity Bank. He had just been released from prison after serving 13 years for robbing the same bank in 1976.

The New York City Department of General Services reported in October that a thief had made off with 109 toilet bowl handles from various government buildings since March, including one from a men's room just down the hall from Mayor Dinkins's office.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Shawn Belschwender.

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