News of the Weird | News of the Weird | Chicago Reader

News of the Weird 

Lead Story

A Maryland chiropractor who left his 1985 Subaru on a Rockville dealer's lot for repair in January later discovered that a homeless alcoholic man had wandered onto the lot and into the car, where he had died. The chiropractor says the car now smells awful, and he wants a replacement from the dealer. The dealer's service manager admitted that the seat was "moist" but stated that "there's absolutely nothing wrong with the car. I've put my face in [the seat]."

Police Blotter

Police discovered a "things to do today" list on Haitian immigrant Guarionex Orasmy in March after they caught him robbing a bank in Hollywood, Florida. The list read "car, money, house, clothes, food, to begin my new life." Beside "car" was a check mark. Police later charged Orasmy with having used a steak knife two days before to commandeer a new car from a Ford dealership.

U.S. Border Patrol officers arrested two men at a checkpoint near Temecula, California, in February and charged them with suspicion of possessing 115 grams of methamphetamine. Taken into custody were Scott H. Bush, 29, and Eric O. Quale, 32.

Jeffrey Lewis Brown, 29, was arrested in Melbourne, Florida, in January and charged with several theft-related offenses after police stopped him driving a car with a crude paper license plate in the rear window indicating an expiration date of "February 30, 1990."

An arrest warrant was issued for Michael Leonard Jackson, who fled a courthouse in Pensacola, Florida, during jury deliberations at his January trial for burglary and theft, apparently because he feared a guilty verdict. Several minutes after he fled, the jury found him not guilty.

Twelve men (nine of them nude) were arrested protesting a military arms exhibition in Canberra, Australia, in November. They claimed to belong to a group called Penises for Peace.

Among the District of Columbia food establishments closed for health-code violations in February was the Culinary School of Washington.

In February New York City police chased two men who had just stolen $200 from a store in Harlem. One escaped, but Joseph Kosado, 29, was captured when he tried to leap a fence, caught his trousers on some wire, and got stuck hanging upside down with his trousers pinned up around his ankles.

Police in Naples, Italy, arrested but later dropped charges against a man who had been plastering buildings in a downtown section with photo posters of his former girlfriend, who had spurned him, announcing that she would have sex "with anyone" for $80.

A recent spree of women's underwear thefts in Salt Lake City came to a halt in February when 14 women received theirs back in the mail with a badly spelled apology note from the thief. (The thief had apparently kept detailed notes of what he had taken and from whom.) Although he claimed to have had a religious conversion, one woman received $12 instead of her underwear, with a note reading: "I like these. I'm not sending them back."

Louisiana district judge Richard E. Lee, 52, who was once reprimanded by a federal appeals court for resisting school desegregation, checked himself into a substance-abuse center following a February incident in which he threatened bystanders with a gun and made racist remarks after he was seen urinating on a public street in Alexandria.

Police in South Lake Tahoe, California, were investigating complaints by at least seven women, made as far back as October, that a man had confronted them, cut off locks of their hair with a knife, and then fled.

Odds and Ends (Mostly Odds)

Evidence in a London courtroom in January 1990 revealed that Letitia Yaa Akoma Oduro, a chambermaid and lavatory attendant in London who died during negligent sinus surgery in 1983, was next in line to be queen mother of the Akan tribe in Ghana upon the death of the current queen, now 71.

Developers in Branford, Connecticut, not having found enough investors, threw in the towel in February on a 42-unit condominium that would have included a "clothing optional" recreational area.

Tests at Georgia State University among men in seven occupations revealed actors to have the highest average level of testosterone, followed by pro football players, physicians, professors, firemen, salesmen, and ministers.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Shawn Belschwender.

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