Leave it to Beavers | Year In Review | Chicago Reader

Leave it to Beavers 

Anything goes in the City Council's swinging new chambers.

Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe

Alderman William Beavers is not ashamed of his vices. Back in April, during a City Council hearing on an honorary "Hugh Hefner Way" sign for Walton Street, a dissenting feminist quoted from Linda Lovelace's autobiography Ordeal, which portrays Hefner as a filthy pimp. Beavers interrupted the bluestocking.

"Have you ever read it?" he asked.

The woman confessed she hadn't.

"Well, I've read it," he harrumphed. "I don't know if I can believe her, and I don't know if I can believe any of the things she says. Sammy Davis was not gay that I know of."

Then he further impugned the hapless prig's credentials as a sex expert.

"Ever been to a nude beach?" he challenged. "I have."

This fall, Beavers went to bat for tobacco. Since smoking is banned in all city-owned buildings, Alderman Ed Smith tried to stop it in the anteroom behind the council chambers as well. Beavers was miffed. When a Heart Association official tried to inspect the aldermanic clubhouse, Beavers kicked him out, pointing to the Aldermen Only sign.

"I have never tried quitting," Beavers said. "I like to smoke because it does something for you. My nerves settle while I'm down here working. Dealing with people everyday causes you to do something."

The chambers seem like a staid habitat for a libertine like Beavers. And since Hef took his Playboy mansion to Los Angeles, Chicago has lacked an arena for fun, sex, and freedom. Uptight aldermen might protest, but here's a plan to redesign the chambers so Beavers will feel more at home.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Ted Kleine

  • How Much Benefit for Your Buck?

    • Mar 11, 2004
  • 15 Candidates!

    We Can Help--The Reader's Guide to the Big Showdown
    • Mar 11, 2004
  • Where the Boys Are

    Skokie still has one smoker's paradise.
    • Feb 5, 2004
  • More »

Agenda Teaser

Music
J@K@L Experimental Sound Studio
July 16
Performing Arts
Manic Mondays Frances Cocktail Lounge
November 20

Tabbed Event Search

Popular Stories