Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains | Chicago Reader

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

Directed by record producer Lou Adler, this 1981 feature has vague satiric intentions: a no-talent Pennsylvania teenager becomes a rock star on the basis of a two-tone hairdo, a surly attitude, and a slogan—“I don't put out”—that is often quoted but never explained. She attracts legions of squealing, dress-alike fans, but the bubble bursts (improbably) when the leader of a rival group exposes her musical incompetence. Adler has tacked on a happy ending, in what seems to have been a desperate attempt to salvage the film's commercial prospects, but he needn't have bothered: this “exposé” is too familiar and too sloppily filmed to shock anyone. Diane Lane stars, and there's something magnetic about her even though what she's doing can't really be described as acting. With Fee Waybill, Ray Winstone, Laura Dern, and Paul Cook and Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols.

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