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DJ Assault 

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DJ ASSAULT

If you want to know where Detroit's DJ Assault is coming from, in a nutshell, skip ahead to "U Don't Know," the 15th track on his latest mix CD, Off the Chain for the Y2K: Volume Six (Intuit-Solar). Over a beat thumping faster than a hopped-up kangaroo, a fuzzy, cartoonishly simple bass line, and a stuttering sample of what sounds like somebody saying "nope," a male voice nonchalantly intones, "We won't get no radio play / But we'll probably get some pussy for this." It's hard to imagine Assault takes himself seriously, and I certainly don't: music so aggressively ridiculous and stupid (the press is calling it "ghetto-tech") isn't your best candidate for deep listening. But I'm fascinated by his tireless absurdity and indescribably bad taste. Plus he's as fast as anyone I've ever heard, gabber DJs included--some tracks on Off the Chain blitz along at an inhuman 300 bpm. The record includes such inspirational titles as "Fuck You Hoe," "Ass-n-Titties," "Suck It," "Pop That Ass," "Girls With All the Booty," "Asses Jiglin," "Same Hoe," and "It's Percussion." (This is music, after all, not just porn.) He speeds up several club classics--Joey Beltram's "Energy Flash," Cybotron's "Alleys of Your Mind," Robin S's "Show Me Love"--until they're barely recognizable, and over the maniacal beats he floats vocoderized, Chipmunk-sounding near gibberish about working that...well, you can figure it out. None of the other artists are credited, and Assault himself takes responsibility only for the "3 hot bonus tracks" at the top of the program. No wonder: the CD's 80 subsequent cuts average 34.6 seconds and often contain two or more source recordings apiece. Along with his music's crazed sonics--cheap, fuzzy, defiantly crude--this approach gives Assault the air of a charismatic thief parading someone else's monogrammed watch. Saturday, December 9, 7 PM, Congress Theater, 2135 N. Milwaukee; 773-604-1644.

MICHAELANGELO MATOS

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