Cranberry Township-gay | Chicago Reader

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Re: “Good Cop, Bad Cop

dear sir or vagina:

my name is dylan.

i have a "traumatic brain-injury".

i no longer need help with everyday tasks like dressing, but if you could provide a lawyer or any legal assistance for my case against a certain policevagina named abby blazavich, my email is concerns@dylansbraininjury.com.

the summons says the court-date is in the middle of october, so i have about two weeks.

i do drag every summer in cranberry township. in 2012, i named my "drag self" after an asexual police officer i saw a picture of online. well, i recently was sent a citation/summons for...hmn, the citation made me think that it is a crime to comment online about a police officer's asexual appearance. to make a long story short, i called an officer a "genderivoid" in an essay i posted through facebook and on a few different websites, but i honestly was unsure of the officer's gender based on its appearance and on the impression i got when i saw its picture. i didn't intend to "annoy or alarm" the vagina, but that's what the ticket says. the other one was sent because i "created a physically offensive condition which served no legitimate purpose," and also because i didn't stop the insult after being instructed to, but facebook removed my "abby blazavich" account (which was complete with a picture of myself and my own name under every essay i posted to the account), and i was unable to post anything else under the name of "abby blazavich" even if i wanted to. the account was removed before the police came to my house.

i maintain that abby blazavich gives the police force a weak name, not only because it became an officer on account of the lesser physical requirements expected of members of the lesser gender, but because it is a crybaby who cries until its critics are attacked. i feel raped and violated because of every hassle that abby blazavich put me though, and i know i would feel more raped and violated if both my therapist and the fbi agent who knows me from past online cyber-dealings weren't absolutely certain that i am not a threat to anyone. the vagina and company (indiana, pennsylvania state police) would have arrested me, just for commenting on abby blazavich's asexual appearance.

SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN ON THE WEBSITE. I HAD TO RESEARCH THE NAME TO FIND OUT THE GENDER! THAT IS THE TRUTH.

abby blazavich needs to be removed from the indiana, pennsylvania state police. ALL vaginas need to be removed from positions of authority because PINK alludes to RED menstruation and WHITE breastmilk, which alludes to stay-at-home moms, but i'll keep this letter alluding to the vagina named abby blazavich.

the following is a letter i am sending to attorneys and statesmen who fight against police corruption and the abuse of power that i have been shown by the state police in indiana, pennsylvania. if you can provide legal assistance in any way, that would be appreciated.
---------------------------------------------------
dear sir or vagina:

discrimination regarding my homosexuality, Traumatic Brain-Injury and the indiana, pennsylvania state police:

my name is dylan terreri. i am a summertime cross-dresser, i had a "traumatic brain-injury" on june 24, 1990, and i am the victim of either anti-gay harassment or anti-disability harassment done by the indiana, pennsylvania state police, as well as one policevagina named abby blazavich.

i am mailing this letter to "traumatic brain-injury" groups and also to other organizations who may have the authority to PENALize the policevagina (and also the whole indiana, pennsylvania state police department) regarding the harassment i have experienced. my court-date is in the middle of october, it is over a bogus "charge" (harassment and disorderly conduct) that cannot be justified without a little use of "creative license" being applied to the law.

this is the letter (with some edits/additions) which i had originally written with regards to the state police and their harassment of citizens who comment on an officer's picture online. -----------------
dear sir or vagina:

i would like to sue the state of pennsylvania and the united states government for emotional distress. my name is dylan terreri, i - my website is http://www.dearsirorvagina.com - my complaint is regarding both pennsylvania's indiana police department and a specific vagina who works there named abby blazavich. this vagina sent the police or fbi to my house, in july of 2013, on account of a facebook account i created in "her" name (her name happens to be my drag-name since 2012 - that's when i first saw the picture of the policevagina who looked like a policeman. yes, i do drag in the stores of cranberry township with the identity of "abingdon blazavich," daily during during the summer).

"abby" is short for "abingdon," so i joined facebook under the name "abby blazavich". this facebook account featured my own picture, i commented on news stories with this "abby blazavich" account and signed the posts using my real name, and i consider it an abuse of power for the policevagina to have me charged with "harassment" and "disorderly conduct" on account of the existence of a similar name. if abby was not a police officer, there is not a chance that i would have received a ticket for "harassment" or "disorderly conduct". for crying out loud, not even madonna owns the name "madonna," and madonna's ownership of the domain "madonna.com" wasn't a simple task because someone else owned it before her.

the emotional distress i went through was not caused immediately by lawmen knocking on my door, it was caused a week later after the realization hit me, the realization of my having come so close to being arrested. i was at home when i started sweating and feeling both light-headed and sick to my stomach, and after a while, i thought i just needed to get out. so, i went to the grocery store for a sandwich and a drink. well, after eating the sandwich, my head was not relieved, so i bought exedrin migraine - no, it wasn't a migraine that i had but i am so a-c-c-u-s-t-o-m-e-d to buying this aspirin because i got headaches a lot until i went to the hospital and got medication to ward-off the headaches so i don't have to take so many liver-damaging migraine-pills.

to continue, i will give you the whole story. there is a super-stud who works at the cranberry township police department who has been on my mind since 2008 when he pulled me over for expired tags - i wanted to learn his name so i could stop referring to him as "the super-stud who works at the cranberry township police department," so i went onto patrooper.com to see if my brain-damaged memory could identify him. on that website, i got a look at one picture of a vagina named abby blazavich - i thought she looked like a transvestite who was trying to seem manly (despite the LESSER bodyheight and bodyweight and bodystrength which all members of the vagina-gender seem to share), and i complained about the masculine wannabee - BY NAME - on various websites, stating that any vagina who looks like a man should not serve on a police force to be looked up to by kids with impressionable gender-identies.

i also signed up for facebook with the name "abby blazavich," i uploaded a picture of nobody but MYSELF - and then used that profile to comment (SIGNED N MY REAL NAME) on news stories i had run into on various websites. though i believe i am justified in saying that abby blazavich looks like a masculine-wannabee/transvestite who harbors as many gender-identity issues as a lesbian (see http://www.patrooper.com/ reclist.html and look for "abby blazavich"), it appears that abby the vagina didn't like my screen-name of "abby blazavich" being attached to the topics i write about and/or the offensive way i write. she must have whined and belly-ached to her superiors (who ISN'T superior to a little vagina) and soon the police or fbi were at my door. hmn, i think the fbi came regarding a "elect duane rape" page i made earlier this past summer (with a name like "duane rape," how can wordplay not be expected?).

anyway, i maintain that if i (dylan jacob terreri, the first) wrote under facebook-names such as "james brown" or "jakob dylan" and complained about the masculine-wannabees and masculivoids known as feminists and gay "men," neither jakob dylan nor anyone named james brown could have complained enough to get the police over to my house. furthermore, i will say that if online fake-identities are illegal, i demand a full investigation be done to apprehend the homo who misrepresented himself to me in 1997 via an aol profile - i would have NEVER told him my hotel's room-number if i knew what he really looked like.

maybe if he looked a little more like abby blazavich, then i would have been inclined to suck his dick.

facebook claims to have billions of members, but they don't take into consideration the number of people (like myself) who have more than one account. facebook claims to have billions af members, yet there are so many accounts belonging to "josh lane," for instance. i maintain that if there can be many accounts of men named "josh lane" then there can be many accounts of vaginas named "abby blazavich". the name "abby blazavich" is not exclusive to the little vagina who works at the police department, the name is not exclusively HER property, and she had NO RIGHT to have my emotional well-being jolted simply because she was offended that essays written by dylan terreri, i (AND SIGNED THAT WAY) were attached to a facebook-account featuring the name "abby blazavich" as well as MY OWN PICTURE.

i had little contact with the police and/or fbi, this is because i see a therapist who was contacted, but either a policeman or an fbi-man came to my house (after my therapist told me that one would) to talk to me. he told me that what i did (i'm sure he meant my having made a fake facebook-account) was bordering on "identity-theft". i maintain that it was MY PICTURE that was on the account, it was MY NAME under every essay that was attached to the account, and to even suggest "identity theft" in this situation is as ridiculous as a recruiter at a police department who is suggesting that a vagina can do anything a man can do while entry-level requirements FOR that police department are lessened for the lesser gender.

it was UNWARRANTED for authorities to have been called on account of a duplicate name being used on facebook. "josh lane" isn't the only name that is attached to a plethora of facebook accounts. policemen and policevaginas do NOT have special rights and they should NOT be permitted to send the police to anyone's house simply because anyone made a facebook account in the name of a policeman or a policevagina. ESPECIALLY when the picture attached to that facebook account does not represent the police officer named...or even the gender which the police officer's name implies.

i would like to sue the state of pennsylvania and the united states government for emotional distress. i got a ticket in the mail for "harassment" and another one for "disorderly conduct," $500 each, and i believe that these charges are bogus enough to defend myself in court. i was told that i should hire a lawyer anyway, but i maintain that i did nothing harassing to the policevagina named abby blazavich. if she felt harassed by someone with the same name as her then it's simply a matter of her ego. she does not own the name "abby blazavich" exclusively, and her desire to get me in trouble just makes her out to be just another manipulative vagina who cries "rape"...or, in this case, "wolf". this is like one of the thousands of phony rape charges which are filed out of spite for the stronger gender and filed by members of "the pipsqueak gender". to think that she's the only one who is allowed to have her name is simply ego-driven madness.

furthermore, facebook deleted my "abby blazavich" account even before i was informed of the policevagina's complaints. i tried to log-on one morning and i was unable to, it was that afternoon that the policeman came. i assume that the policevagina contacted facebook and told them to delete my screenname. i maintain that it is an abuse of power for the little vagina to have a ticket sent to me simply because i made a facebook-account in her name and commented on many news stories with offensive language (my therapist told me that she blew the name off at first, and only was offended enough to file a complaint when she saw my potty-mouthed style of writing and the offensive topics i write about).

"thou shalt not take abby blazavich's name in vain" - oh, really? this is a bogus complaint filed against me. it is a lie because i would have consciously stopped posting on facebook in her name if facebook didn't delete the account before i even spoke to police. i couldn't have posted anything more even if i wanted to.

abingdon "abby" blazavich is my drag-name when i'm dressed in short shorts/low-cut tanks, the name was inspired by my love of football studs like jeb blazavich whose abs make me horny (i get horny when i see a man's horn in the locker room, and i get abby when i see his abs).

i AM abby blazavich.

mr. dylan terreri, i
dr. sheldon cooper, ii
www.abbyblazavich.com
--------------------------
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
www.jaggedlittledyl.com/essays
--------------------------

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Posted by Cranberry Township-gay on 10/01/2013 at 12:29 PM

Re: “The Big Gay Musical

i would like to address this letter to duquesne university, as well as other gay-affirming colleges (be them christian or public):

after reading a letter that was posted on a few websites, ryan.miner.dylquesne.com and ryan.miner.shittsburgh.org and even ryan.miner.anti-gay.com, i feel that i have to make people aware. i feel that duquesne university should be ashamed of itself for succumbing to the "politically correct" version of our Lord. in short, ryan miner was correct to state his beliefs about homosexuality being "subhuman". i would like to go one step further and say that homosexuality is for the developmentally disabled - for the "men" whose masculine esteem sees other men through the eyes of a little boy, for the "men" who don't think highly enough of themselves AS men, for the "men" whose own masculine identity is slight enough to be compromised by the sight of any "real man," from ryan reynolds to tim tebow.

for whatever reason a "man" is apt to gawk at men and would regard the masculine body as some kind of "discovery zone," whether he has grown up thinking of himself as a small masculine slight...whether he has grown up being labeled as a girl by the athletic boys (and his sister)...whether he has felt unworthy and uninvited enough to stray from the masculine majority, the fact remains: people shouldn't let themselves be governed by their homosexual attraction. likewise, duquesne university shouldn't be governed by the abundance of masculivoids on campus. the university should not change their stance on homosexuality just because college boys (and i stress "boys") are a bunch of masculine ditzes suffering from gender-identity issues.

there is so much gay porn on my computer, but the reason i don't "hook-up" with anyone is because i think too highly of myself as a man. i don't think highly of myself as a "male," i don't think highly of myself as a "guy," i am a man and the reason that i don't "hook-up" with gay males is because i am "let-down". the act of sticking my hand down someone's pants like a blind man looking for buried treasure, it just rubs me the wrong way. also, i feel shame for the naive masculivoid who is apt to bow down and lick my dick like he's in total reverence, it's just shameful - i would not be able to respect such a masculivoid, and that is why i haven't been naked with anyone for years. i don't care to see "men" who celebrate naked men with their eyes gaping open and with the biggest smile on their faces, sometimes i can't even bear to watch porn, "men" who are in reverence of other men is just shameful. what man-worshipping DULLARDS.! i feel like cher in moonstruck: "snap out of it!". let me quote nanny fine here: "you're acting like you've never seen one before... you've got one, your father's got one".

anyone who gets a boner from the sight of a naked man should not think he is relegated to a life of homosexuality. i regard "making love" as "making answers," simply because of the curiosity that is satisfied with naked intimacy. curiosity is at the root of sexual attraction, and one develops curiosity about things as one lives and experiences things. nobody's born with a curiosity of men or of the lesser gender, i had a line in a play called "barefoot in the park" that i would like to relate to sexual curiosity: "talent is something that must be cultivated". curiosity is something that must be developed through one's understanding that he has a lack of understanding.

furthermore, i feel that if a man is justified in his own mind as a legitimate member of his own gender, he's not going to be curious of his own gender. now, i may have a physical attraction to masculine images because i never felt like i compared to the masculine athletes i went to school with, but the presence of a physical attraction towards men doesn't mean that i'd be happy to substitute masturbation with real sex. wasn't it sheldon cooper who said that he is disgusted by his own bodily fluids, weren't his words something like "why would i want to relish in anyone else's?"

i feel the same way about bodily fluids and about men in general...aside from football-extraordinaires tim tebow and matthew muchnok, of course.

by embracing homosexuality, duquesne university (and any "christian" college) is disgracing God because gay-affirming universities are taking seriously the masculivoid who says "God did not make me man enough to fulfill my need for a man in my life". there was a football player named josh lane who i went to high school with. he didn't want to be around me because i was always putting his big and strong and hairy-chested existence on a pedestal - "you're telling me that i'm the best, but i already know that - YOU have to be the best" is basically what he said to me. josh didn't like the self-deprecation involved when a "man" finds the man of his dreams in somebody else - what makes anyone think that God would not be insulted by a "man" who is not all the man he needs? of course God would be insulted, He didn't create men to feel half-baked (or incomplete) without another man acting as a crutch. kind of like what josh wanted for me, God doesn't want his sons to be gay - God wants his sons to be happy enough to think highly enough of themselves AS men so that they don't go kissing other mens' asses (either sexually or figuratively in reverence). gay people are slighting God's work by regarding themselves as incomplete without another member of their own gender.

what's next? is the college going to support assisted suicide (whether or not the "assisted suicide" is a matter of AIDS and masculivoid sex) - how long would it take for the college to support murder outright? why stop at homosexuality, the "christian" college should support every form of human depravity - from "men" who lack masculine gender-identity enough to want to justify themselves as masculine with help of a seeing-eye lover, to women who maintain that they can do anything a man can do while relishing in the university's gender-based sports teams.

here follows the letter from ryan.miner.anti-gay.com:

to duquesne university, regarding ryan miner:

listen, the next time you reprimand someone for disrespecting gay "men"...why don't you reprimand gay "men" for disrespecting themselves with their whole "i'm not man enough to be my man" mentality. now, if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss...but don't push your gay lack of esteem onto your students. gay "men" are so entertained when they have their hands on private parts of masculinity, it's like they just bought it at some kind of curiosity shop.

let me share with you a letter i wrote in response to chastity bono's gender-dysfunction. maybe duquesne university will stop tolerating and promoting gender-dysfunction. here follows the letter:

gender is reality. gender is as obvious an identifier as race is - changing one's gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one's race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender - it's nothing but your mind that's telling you that your body is a mistake. change your mind.

homosexuality is gender-dysfunction. this should be realized. a national tolerance of gender-dysfunction is telling children that it's okay to be mediocre. it was the summer of 1991 - hunterdon county, new jersey - i was going to see "terminator 2" with someone named josh lane - we never saw it because i was expressing my awe of his manliness and he was telling me to love myself and not to see him as the best but to become the best. i thought he was being intolerant, so i felt rejected and wanted to go home. i'd always felt mediocre, a small masculine slight, i wanted someone to accept me for it. i don't know if i'd have gone to a "gay pride" parade if i had the chance, but that's neither here nor there.

now, whether her gender-curiosity is of the masculine gender or the feminine, if it's being embraced by society that chastity bono got a sex change because she always thought that she had the wrong body, aren't people admitting a gender-identity issue? it is an issue when one doesn't feel like a female but is undeniably female. don't people realize that such issues and feelings can only come into being once a person has been around other people long enough to have come to define themselves as a specific gender in relation to the world and genders around them? how do you know you have the wrong body if you haven't been exposed to anything but your body? how do you know that there are two types of bodies? how do you come out of the womb with any information of the world when you've had no information to process while in the womb, as if a fetus is advanced enough to process information.

i was in high school and josh was the epitome of the word "man". i arrived at that conclusion through all the years i had lived, all the years i had regarded athletes as "real men," all the years i felt outcasted from the masculine gender. i had never wanted a sex change, but i sure did not feel like a "real man" and i did not feel comfortable calling myself a man when all these better men were around. i swam with my shirt on, i didn't feel man enough to take it off. i thought that tank-tops didn't belong on me because i was skinny and weak. this probably has nothing to do with any self-discontentment i felt, but i was an actor in high school - happy and comfortable to become someone else.

my lackluster sense of self complemented the lackluster specimen of manhood that i was, but maybe if i'd have gone to a "gay pride" parade then i would have been taught to be proud without having any justifiable reason to be proud of myself. if i learned how to love myself in spite of everything i wanted to change about myself, life would have been much easier and i wouldn't have had to spend so much time lifting weights and improving myself.

there is a quote i came up with before 1996, i tested it in 1996 on stevanne lusk who was behind a place called "the center for neuro-rehab" in annapolis. evita was playing at the mall during the time i was in annapolis and i loved musical theatre, in case you have any doubts of my being a legitimate homosexual after writing a letter like this.

here's the quote: "if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss"

i was humping the mattress yet again this morning - do you know the stuff that is in gay porn? "men" sniffing their own armpits , "men" sniffing others' armpits, "men" with their faces wedged inside ass-cracks, "men" with their hands up someone's rear-end - when i see stuff like this i picture all these question marks flying around the heads of the curious little masculine slights that simply know themselves as "gay".

"We shoulda known you question your manhood when we saw you jerking it like you just bought it at some curiosity shop," from my first screenplay, andy's beach, (c) 1996.

why don't boys who were "born straight" come out of mama's vagina with a hard-on? on second thought, why did they even come out of mama's vagina - they're soon going to be trying to re-enter a vagina with either their fingers, tongues or dicks. one would think that being inside of a vagina would be paradise for a boy who was "born straight". on second thought, maybe newborn boys don't know anything about the world around them and maybe it'll take years to gain enough knowledge of the world (and the genders) around them to regard the vagina as special and interesting.

madonna's "justify my love" was popular in late 1990, i remember it well - i was a junior in high school. paula abdul's "opposites attract" was popular in early 1990, i remember it well - i was a sophomore. let me take a line from my aforementioned screenplay: " i'm saying that opposites attract, be that man/woman, confident man/insecure man, or even half-the-woman/epitome of 'woman'! 'opposites' is what you feel inside about yourself, it's not strictly male or female on the outside! i'm jealous, therefore i lust! i'm jealous of your body like you're jealous of saxy's. i need a man in my life for the same reason you need a woman, i feel left out!"

i therefore can understand how chastity bono came to the conclusion that she felt like she should be a man. it's cross-eyed gender-dysfunction. josh told me to change myself so that i'd love myself, he was talking about my becoming the best instead of fawning over supreme masculine images. i guess one could argue that going to a doctor to change one's gender is the same as going to a gym to change one's musculature, which brings to mind another line from my screenplay: "It works for you, huh, treating your gender like its presence on your body is some big mistake?". gender is reality - gender is as obvious as race is - changing one's gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one's race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender, it's nothing but your mind that's telling you that your body is a mistake.

gender is self, gender is reality, the way anyone thinks or feels about themselves is arrived at by - let's just say that i wouldn't have felt like a masculine slight as a boy if i was not always picked last for teams in gym class. if girls were fawning over me rather than over athletes, i probably would have been a tad more self-confident. if i wasn't only as strong as a girl, maybe i'd have had some masculine self-worth. maybe masculine self-worth is what josh was trying to give me when he told me to change myself to become the best. maybe masculine self-worth is why i enjoy gawking at images of "men" having sex as i'm humping my mattress, when the reality of having sex with anything but a masculine image keeps me from having sex with men.

maybe the absence of self-respect and masculine self-worth that i felt as a boy would have done more than bring about a lust for men. maybe it would have led me to believe that i was not supposed to be male, that i was a female trapped in a male's body. let me conclude by saying that before there is gender-reassignment surgery in anyone's life, before anyone wants to do away with their gender, there is a certain degree of self-hatred. change your mind.

mr. dylan terreri, i
dr. sheldon cooper, ii
--------------------------
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna

www.jaggedlittledyl.com/essays

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Cranberry Township-gay on 01/30/2013 at 7:22 AM

Re: “The final days of Gay Chicago

i would like to address this letter to duquesne university, as well as other gay-affirming colleges (be them christian or public):

after reading a letter that was posted on a few websites, ryan.miner.dylquesne.com and ryan.miner.shittsburgh.org and even ryan.miner.anti-gay.com, i feel that i have to make people aware. i feel that duquesne university should be ashamed of itself for succumbing to the "politically correct" version of our Lord. in short, ryan miner was correct to state his beliefs about homosexuality being "subhuman". i would like to go one step further and say that homosexuality is for the developmentally disabled - for the "men" whose masculine esteem sees other men through the eyes of a little boy, for the "men" who don't think highly enough of themselves AS men, for the "men" whose own masculine identity is slight enough to be compromised by the sight of any "real man," from ryan reynolds to tim tebow.

for whatever reason a "man" is apt to gawk at men and would regard the masculine body as some kind of "discovery zone," whether he has grown up thinking of himself as a small masculine slight...whether he has grown up being labeled as a girl by the athletic boys (and his sister)...whether he has felt unworthy and uninvited enough to stray from the masculine majority, the fact remains: people shouldn't let themselves be governed by their homosexual attraction. likewise, duquesne university shouldn't be governed by the abundance of masculivoids on campus. the university should not change their stance on homosexuality just because college boys (and i stress "boys") are a bunch of masculine ditzes suffering from gender-identity issues.

there is so much gay porn on my computer, but the reason i don't "hook-up" with anyone is because i think too highly of myself as a man. i don't think highly of myself as a "male," i don't think highly of myself as a "guy," i am a man and the reason that i don't "hook-up" with gay males is because i am "let-down". the act of sticking my hand down someone's pants like a blind man looking for buried treasure, it just rubs me the wrong way. also, i feel shame for the naive masculivoid who is apt to bow down and lick my dick like he's in total reverence, it's just shameful - i would not be able to respect such a masculivoid, and that is why i haven't been naked with anyone for years. i don't care to see "men" who celebrate naked men with their eyes gaping open and with the biggest smile on their faces, sometimes i can't even bear to watch porn, "men" who are in reverence of other men is just shameful. what man-worshipping DULLARDS.! i feel like cher in moonstruck: "snap out of it!". let me quote nanny fine here: "you're acting like you've never seen one before... you've got one, your father's got one".

anyone who gets a boner from the sight of a naked man should not think he is relegated to a life of homosexuality. i regard "making love" as "making answers," simply because of the curiosity that is satisfied with naked intimacy. curiosity is at the root of sexual attraction, and one develops curiosity about things as one lives and experiences things. nobody's born with a curiosity of men or of the lesser gender, i had a line in a play called "barefoot in the park" that i would like to relate to sexual curiosity: "talent is something that must be cultivated". curiosity is something that must be developed through one's understanding that he has a lack of understanding.

furthermore, i feel that if a man is justified in his own mind as a legitimate member of his own gender, he's not going to be curious of his own gender. now, i may have a physical attraction to masculine images because i never felt like i compared to the masculine athletes i went to school with, but the presence of a physical attraction towards men doesn't mean that i'd be happy to substitute masturbation with real sex. wasn't it sheldon cooper who said that he is disgusted by his own bodily fluids, weren't his words something like "why would i want to relish in anyone else's?"

i feel the same way about bodily fluids and about men in general...aside from football-extraordinaires tim tebow and matthew muchnok, of course.

by embracing homosexuality, duquesne university (and any "christian" college) is disgracing God because gay-affirming universities are taking seriously the masculivoid who says "God did not make me man enough to fulfill my need for a man in my life". there was a football player named josh lane who i went to high school with. he didn't want to be around me because i was always putting his big and strong and hairy-chested existence on a pedestal - "you're telling me that i'm the best, but i already know that - YOU have to be the best" is basically what he said to me. josh didn't like the self-deprecation involved when a "man" finds the man of his dreams in somebody else - what makes anyone think that God would not be insulted by a "man" who is not all the man he needs? of course God would be insulted, He didn't create men to feel half-baked (or incomplete) without another man acting as a crutch. kind of like what josh wanted for me, God doesn't want his sons to be gay - God wants his sons to be happy enough to think highly enough of themselves AS men so that they don't go kissing other mens' asses (either sexually or figuratively in reverence). gay people are slighting God's work by regarding themselves as incomplete without another member of their own gender.

what's next? is the college going to support assisted suicide (whether or not the "assisted suicide" is a matter of AIDS and masculivoid sex) - how long would it take for the college to support murder outright? why stop at homosexuality, the "christian" college should support every form of human depravity - from "men" who lack masculine gender-identity enough to want to justify themselves as masculine with help of a seeing-eye lover, to women who maintain that they can do anything a man can do while relishing in the university's gender-based sports teams.

here follows the letter from ryan.miner.anti-gay.com:

to duquesne university, regarding ryan miner:

listen, the next time you reprimand someone for disrespecting gay "men"...why don't you reprimand gay "men" for disrespecting themselves with their whole "i'm not man enough to be my man" mentality. now, if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss...but don't push your gay lack of esteem onto your students. gay "men" are so entertained when they have their hands on private parts of masculinity, it's like they just bought it at some kind of curiosity shop.

let me share with you a letter i wrote in response to chastity bono's gender-dysfunction. maybe duquesne university will stop tolerating and promoting gender-dysfunction. here follows the letter:

gender is reality. gender is as obvious an identifier as race is - changing one's gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one's race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender - it's nothing but your mind that's telling you that your body is a mistake. change your mind.

homosexuality is gender-dysfunction. this should be realized. a national tolerance of gender-dysfunction is telling children that it's okay to be mediocre. it was the summer of 1991 - hunterdon county, new jersey - i was going to see "terminator 2" with someone named josh lane - we never saw it because i was expressing my awe of his manliness and he was telling me to love myself and not to see him as the best but to become the best. i thought he was being intolerant, so i felt rejected and wanted to go home. i'd always felt mediocre, a small masculine slight, i wanted someone to accept me for it. i don't know if i'd have gone to a "gay pride" parade if i had the chance, but that's neither here nor there.

now, whether her gender-curiosity is of the masculine gender or the feminine, if it's being embraced by society that chastity bono got a sex change because she always thought that she had the wrong body, aren't people admitting a gender-identity issue? it is an issue when one doesn't feel like a female but is undeniably female. don't people realize that such issues and feelings can only come into being once a person has been around other people long enough to have come to define themselves as a specific gender in relation to the world and genders around them? how do you know you have the wrong body if you haven't been exposed to anything but your body? how do you know that there are two types of bodies? how do you come out of the womb with any information of the world when you've had no information to process while in the womb, as if a fetus is advanced enough to process information.

i was in high school and josh was the epitome of the word "man". i arrived at that conclusion through all the years i had lived, all the years i had regarded athletes as "real men," all the years i felt outcasted from the masculine gender. i had never wanted a sex change, but i sure did not feel like a "real man" and i did not feel comfortable calling myself a man when all these better men were around. i swam with my shirt on, i didn't feel man enough to take it off. i thought that tank-tops didn't belong on me because i was skinny and weak. this probably has nothing to do with any self-discontentment i felt, but i was an actor in high school - happy and comfortable to become someone else.

my lackluster sense of self complemented the lackluster specimen of manhood that i was, but maybe if i'd have gone to a "gay pride" parade then i would have been taught to be proud without having any justifiable reason to be proud of myself. if i learned how to love myself in spite of everything i wanted to change about myself, life would have been much easier and i wouldn't have had to spend so much time lifting weights and improving myself.

there is a quote i came up with before 1996, i tested it in 1996 on stevanne lusk who was behind a place called "the center for neuro-rehab" in annapolis. evita was playing at the mall during the time i was in annapolis and i loved musical theatre, in case you have any doubts of my being a legitimate homosexual after writing a letter like this.

here's the quote: "if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss"

i was humping the mattress yet again this morning - do you know the stuff that is in gay porn? "men" sniffing their own armpits , "men" sniffing others' armpits, "men" with their faces wedged inside ass-cracks, "men" with their hands up someone's rear-end - when i see stuff like this i picture all these question marks flying around the heads of the curious little masculine slights that simply know themselves as "gay".

"We shoulda known you question your manhood when we saw you jerking it like you just bought it at some curiosity shop," from my first screenplay, andy's beach, (c) 1996.

why don't boys who were "born straight" come out of mama's vagina with a hard-on? on second thought, why did they even come out of mama's vagina - they're soon going to be trying to re-enter a vagina with either their fingers, tongues or dicks. one would think that being inside of a vagina would be paradise for a boy who was "born straight". on second thought, maybe newborn boys don't know anything about the world around them and maybe it'll take years to gain enough knowledge of the world (and the genders) around them to regard the vagina as special and interesting.

madonna's "justify my love" was popular in late 1990, i remember it well - i was a junior in high school. paula abdul's "opposites attract" was popular in early 1990, i remember it well - i was a sophomore. let me take a line from my aforementioned screenplay: " i'm saying that opposites attract, be that man/woman, confident man/insecure man, or even half-the-woman/epitome of 'woman'! 'opposites' is what you feel inside about yourself, it's not strictly male or female on the outside! i'm jealous, therefore i lust! i'm jealous of your body like you're jealous of saxy's. i need a man in my life for the same reason you need a woman, i feel left out!"

i therefore can understand how chastity bono came to the conclusion that she felt like she should be a man. it's cross-eyed gender-dysfunction. josh told me to change myself so that i'd love myself, he was talking about my becoming the best instead of fawning over supreme masculine images. i guess one could argue that going to a doctor to change one's gender is the same as going to a gym to change one's musculature, which brings to mind another line from my screenplay: "It works for you, huh, treating your gender like its presence on your body is some big mistake?". gender is reality - gender is as obvious as race is - changing one's gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one's race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender, it's nothing but your mind that's telling you that your body is a mistake.

gender is self, gender is reality, the way anyone thinks or feels about themselves is arrived at by - let's just say that i wouldn't have felt like a masculine slight as a boy if i was not always picked last for teams in gym class. if girls were fawning over me rather than over athletes, i probably would have been a tad more self-confident. if i wasn't only as strong as a girl, maybe i'd have had some masculine self-worth. maybe masculine self-worth is what josh was trying to give me when he told me to change myself to become the best. maybe masculine self-worth is why i enjoy gawking at images of "men" having sex as i'm humping my mattress, when the reality of having sex with anything but a masculine image keeps me from having sex with men.

maybe the absence of self-respect and masculine self-worth that i felt as a boy would have done more than bring about a lust for men. maybe it would have led me to believe that i was not supposed to be male, that i was a female trapped in a male's body. let me conclude by saying that before there is gender-reassignment surgery in anyone's life, before anyone wants to do away with their gender, there is a certain degree of self-hatred. change your mind.

dylan terreri, i
sheldon cooper, ii
--------------------------
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna

www.jaggedlittledyl.com/essays

0 likes, 5 dislikes
Posted by Cranberry Township-gay on 01/30/2013 at 7:02 AM

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