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The Chicago Reader

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News & Politics, Savage Love Nov 15, 2018
‘I've always wanted to tie girls up, but I can never convince a woman to let me’

Tips for getting into bondage without being a menace or a creep. Plus: Dan issues the fastest DTMFA ever!
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, bondage newbie, bondage singles websites, BDSM, bondage, Justin Gorbey, kinkster, kink, munches, play groups, kink social groups, kink education groups, FetLife, nonmonogamous, monogamy, oral sex, DTMFA, Dan Savage, Savage Love, GGG, good giving and game, dump the motherfucker already, dominatrix, pro dom, pegging, strap-on

News & Politics, Savage Love Nov 8, 2018
A ‘bear-built top guy’ worries that he‘ll never find a long-term relationship

Just sex and torture partners. Plus: when your little brother has always had a thing for rubber, and more.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, bear, top, S&M, long-term relationships, torture, heteronormativity, companionate marriage, rubber fetish, rubber gear, refractory period, multiple orgasms, Mary Jane Sherfey, women's sexuality

News & Politics, Savage Love Nov 1, 2018
How to get your groove back after giving birth

A pelvic floor physical therapist comes to the rescue. Plus: Dan gives advice to a straight woman in love with a gay man.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, pelvic health, post-natal sex, sex toys, kink, trans woman, improv

News & Politics, Savage Love Oct 24, 2018
Constructive Advice Thoughtfully Sought by a gay young adult

A primer on pet-play fetishes. Plus: what do when your weed dealer pulls a Louis C.K., and more
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, pet play, kitten play, fetishes, puppy play, fetish kitty, Amp Somers, Watts the Safeword, kitten-play.com, gay kinksters, kink scene, BDSM, dungeon, gear, role-playing, FetLife, Facebook

News & Politics, Savage Love Sep 26, 2018
Sixty-two and wondering what to settle for sexually after a new partner turns out to prefer his own hand

Is it so wrong to want to be desired? Plus: yes, women can be cuckolds, and more
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, sexual incompatibility, senior sex, Joan Price, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50, sexual fulfillment, friends with benefits, transgender woman, cis woman, cuckold, cuckqueen, voyeurism, jerk husband, divorce, consent

News & Politics, Savage Love Sep 19, 2018
‘Is it OK to give myself permission to give up on partner-based climaxing?’

She's newly divorced and having the best sex of her life—isn't that enough? Plus: advice on when to reveal your "kink card," and more
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, orgasm, great sex, kink card, partner-based climaxing, kink-shaming, post-breakup friendship

News & Politics, Savage Love Sep 12, 2018
Gay, middle-aged, and lonely as hell

Dan Savage advises a trio of late bloomers.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, gay, hookup aps, Michael Hobbs, Together Alone: The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness, depression, being single, loneliness, living alone, Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, Eric Kleinbenberg, relationships, suicidal ideation, social anxiety, Stephen Fry

News & Politics, Savage Love Aug 8, 2018
‘Help, I WANT SEX all the time, with all sorts of people!’

Is this a normal consequence of going off hormonal contraception?
Plus: wedding etiquette for nonhierarchal polycules
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, birth control, hormonal contraception, menstrual cycle, don’t ask don’t tell, DADT, NuvaRing, libido, menstruation, progesterone, open relationship, nonhierarchical polycule, polyamory, Flo, Clue, Period Tracker

News & Politics, Savage Love Aug 1, 2018
‘Is it weird for a gay man to hang with straight women?’

Dan Savage advises a judgy, misogynistic BF pissed about BFFs.
Plus: up-and-down love, stanky-ass dick
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, gay couple, straight friends, straighties, drag shows, gay bars, neediness, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, John Gottman, Gottman Institute, on-again off-again, personal hygiene, smelly penis

News & Politics, Savage Love Jul 18, 2018
A 20-year-old bottom having an affair with a 50-year-old European dom wonders what’s next now that she’s a big girl

Plus: a #MeToo moment on the massage couch, a gay man with a thing for breasts wonders whether he's straight after all
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, Fifty Shades of Grey, sadomasochism, illicit affair, grooming, kinks, sexuality, broken marriages, European attitude toward sex, #MeToo, erotic massage, full-body massage, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, BBC, bottom, Living my truth

News & Politics, Savage Love Jun 27, 2018
What to do when you’re stuck in a platonic marriage

Dan advises an unhappy wife—and the rest of us. Plus: a gay guy explains why he prefers straight dick.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, low libido, marital incompatibility, polyamory, gay guy, blow job, straight friend, enby, dick sucking, baggage, baggage free, platonic relationships

News & Politics, Savage Love Jun 20, 2018
Can a straight guy ethically accept oral sex from his gay buddy?

And can another straight guy ethically refuse to give a blow job during a threesome?
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, oral sex, blow job, straight guy, gay guy, threesome, reciprocation

News & Politics, Savage Love Jun 13, 2018
‘Help, my wife has been sexting with a guy for more than a decade!’

A retroactive solution. Plus: What to do with a booty caller, and more
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, sexting, snooping, betrayal, infidelity, triggers, booty calls, relationship plateau, retroactive blessing

News & Politics, Savage Love Jun 6, 2018
‘Help, I’m afraid my disgusting adult baby husband may choose his diapers over me!’

What to do when you're unwillingly married to a fetishist.
Plus: edging. Is it safe?
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Savage Love, Dan Savage, adult baby, fetish, diaper porn, adult-size diapers, David Ley, ABDL, Pup Jackson, kink card, diaper lover, diaper fetishist, edging, masturbation, Ejaculation Frequency and Risk of Prostate Cancer, European Urology

News & Politics, Savage Love May 30, 2018
‘Could my beautiful bottom boy be turning bi?’

What's up with a self-proclaimed gold-star gay's peculiar new interests? Plus: a relationship question that doesn't involve sex, and more.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, gold-star gay, lesbian porn, straight porn, MMF threesome, Fleshlight, biphobia, bi-curious, homo-flexible, courtesy, jack-off, hand job, masturbation, queer, poly, nonmonogamous, Maggie McNeill, sex workers, oral sex, blow jobs, the Nordic Model, SESTA, sex worker's rights

News & Politics, Savage Love May 23, 2018
What to do when someone horns in on all the action at the orgy

Even if it’s the host. Plus: threesome success and lesbian special guests!
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, water sports, piss party, golden shower, orgy, group sex, piss play, etiquette, threesome, MMF threesome, use your words, special guest star, cis, lesbian, bisexual, queer, sexual identity, bad lesbian

News & Politics, Savage Love May 2, 2018
‘Can I ask my husband to stop shaving his pubes?’

“Should I be concerned about my celibacy?,” and more questions from Uncle Dan’s grab bag.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, orgy, gang bang, reverse gang bang, pussy riot, sausage fest, clam bake, celibacy, me time, incel, involuntary celibacy, sex, initiating sex, older woman, shaved pubes, manscaping

News & Politics, Savage Love Apr 25, 2018
A serial adulterer makes a case for himself, and gets reamed

Plus: What’s good for the gander is good for the gander.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, adultery, serial adultery, monogamy, ethical nonmonogamy, open relationships, affairs, divorce, couples counseling, cuckold, cuckquean, kinks, cheating, nonexclusive relationship

News & Politics, Savage Love Apr 4, 2018
Three-ways between friends and anxiety-induced orgasms: Here's why hundreds skipped Stormy Daniels on 60 Minutes

Dan Savage answers questions from a live audience in Michigan the same night as the porn star's interview.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, Royal Oak Music Theatre, Savage Love Live, Stormy Daniels, 60 minutes, relationships, bi, hot wifing, cuckolding, stag-and-vixen play, swinging, porn, BDSM, infatuation, orgasm, sex toys, anal sex, Donald Trump

News & Politics, Savage Love Mar 21, 2018
Asexuality—it's a real thing

But who counts as asexual? Plus: an open or shut case
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, asexuality, aces, Lori Brotto, Asexual Visibility and Education Network, come-ons, flirting, infidelity, celibacy, denial, sex shaming

Blogs, Bleader Mar 16, 2018
The two most-read Reader stories of all time both involve major disappointments

What threesomes and coffee have in common.
- By Aimee Levitt
- Tags: Archive Dive, Dim the Lights, Food & Drink, News, Science, Savage Love, threesome, coffee, sleepy

News & Politics, Savage Love Mar 14, 2018
‘Am I dating a psychopath?’

What does it mean when an intimate can't really "feel"? Plus: a pox on threesomes, and more
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, psychopath, sociopath, Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry, threesomes, intimate massage, group sex, casual sex, sexual incompatibility, role-play, sexual fantasies, sex positivity, kink shaming

News & Politics, Savage Love Mar 7, 2018
Why does a straight cis woman get off on lesbian, gay, trans, and even violent porn?

"Dansplaining" sexual kinks, and more
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, pornography, tit slapping, breasts, gay men, gay porn, trans FTM porn, deep throating, blow jobs, degradation, small penis humiliation, SPH, cougar, objectification, feminism, turn-on, older women

News & Politics, Savage Love Feb 21, 2018
She’s bi herself. Why is she so threatened by her boyfriend’s bisexuality?

Dan calls on experts to address insecurity and biphobia. Plus: what to do if kink's not for you
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, bisexuality, biphobia, cisgender couple, hormonal disorder, Klinefelter syndrome, RJ Aguiar, jealousy, BDSM, kink, bonday, light kink, vanilla, spanking, kink camp, GGG, good, giving, and game

News & Politics, Savage Love Feb 15, 2018
One nonbinary person, two girlfriends

What type of polyamory is right for you? Plus: What's the deal with "forced" blow jobs? and more.
- By Dan Savage
- Tags: Savage Love, Dan Savage, Savage Love, nonbinary person, polyamory, open relationship, menage a trois, threesome, phone sex work, forced bi, forced blow jobs, forced cocksucking, cocksucker, sexual abuse

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