A Second Rate Imitation, Watered Down Simulation | Matches blog

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A Second Rate Imitation, Watered Down Simulation

Posted By on 09.29.10 at 01:31 PM

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Did you know they have a park and kiss lot at the airport? Yeah, true story. You can drive to the airport and make out in this designated kissing zone (pretty good date idea. The chick thinks I am taking her to Paris but really I drive all the way out to the airport just to make out. I think it's romantic). I am guessing that there are some time restrictions given that it's main purpose is for dropping off or picking up a significant other but they still allow you to hang out for a moment and bid farewell. I also think there is a second base, or ground ruled double, rule in which there will be no hitting homers in the parking lot; just some good old fashioned making out like teenagers on the last day of summer type fun. They also have those long term parking lots at O'Hare; i.e. the long term relationship. It's commitment, baby! Then there is short term parking which is like a weekend fling or just kind of a right moment/ right time, spur of the moment/ well fuck it anyways and let's do this sort of relationship. It's pretty cool though. All the people coming in and out, going to different destinations or arriving back to the point where they said goodbye some time ago. And coming back seems to be the best part, in travel of course, but no really in relationships.

Leaving a relationship or destination under any circumstances and putting distance between yourself and everything else always feels a certain way, not really a matter of good or bad but just certain. Certainly different. It's like when you break-up with someone and you go on aimlessly drifting, hoping to put distance between yourself and the other person. Obviously you can't break-up, jump in a cab, and be in the air heading to any point but near that person in a matter of minutes but people tend to try and distance themselves after a break-up whether they know it or not. Some just sleep with anything and everything almost as if the people that they fall asleep next to are just barriers used to block the last boyfriend or girlfriend, which works out in the rarest of cases. Generally they go to different restaurants, different bars, listen to different music, wear different clothes, a new haircut, grow a beard, new band, etc., etc. Physical changes, lifestyle changes, just change in any and all facets of their being. It's great, change is good. It's like when you find a $5 bill in your jacket pocket and some quarters with a Walgreen's receipt from a year ago. Finding change is a great feeling. On the flip side, the person puts so much effort into trying to run from the other person that sometimes they realize all these new activities and adventures are all done with that last girlfriend or boyfriend in mind which drives them right back to where they were. This is one of those instances when the trip is pointless and instead of finding change you feel overdrawn on your checking account. Why even take the trip or make the change in the first place? You didn't learn anything or give yourself a fair shot with or at new love. This leaves friends shaking their head and asking things like "why? Why would you go back!?" or saying things like "Come on man, seriously!" and then comes the lecture that you never want hear. The one where your friend tells you their own mistakes and related relationships that in the end turned spiteful and became such a waste of everything (now you have brought them down to your level, or some crap level anyway). It sucks because you have to listen and the stories are long and drawn out with the moral being 'don't learn things the hard way' but everyone always has that way of thinking that they are really smart or unique and will not screw it up this time. I have a theory that at some point between ages 6 and 10 we are given a pill or something was slipped in our juice during story time so we have this looming thought that we are capable of reinventing the wheel. True, it can be reinvented but in order to reinvent you have to do some sort of assessment of yourself and your life and from those results you build and move forward, not take two steps forward and then seven back.

So while the lecture of friends and family drones on, the message that 'I am telling you this to help' is made more and more clear with each sentence, but all their words fall to the floor and the ex is now on his or her way to becoming the current (they're back together? really? I thought that...well...um...are you kidding me? That is really funny...wait, no. That's sad. Ok, it's funny again) boyfriend or girlfriend, again. Now that the couple is, again, current and it becomes even more painstakingly clear why they left each other in the first place. Oh yeah, all the unresolved issues are back, yet again, with no resolution, and then the very worst kicks in; total and utter regret. You start remembering that bucket list you made after the break-up: the new haircut, the new albums, the new coffee shop, the new books, that trip where you ride a motorcycle across India in your version of Easy Rider... and all of that? That new list and new life, the one where you really were going to grab the world by the balls and do things on your terms and all for yourself...remember that? That whole Mary Tyler Moore 'We're going to make it after all' feeling somehow turns into that theme from the reruns of that one really unfunny show that you've seen a million times (sucked the first time, too). You can turn it off but you don't. You sit and stare and waste. And all those trips and ideas of adventure turn into statements preceded by 'what if'. Then the realization hits that it's far better to add '...if I stayed with what's-her-name' (or his-name) after 'what if'. Example: What if I stayed with what's-her-name? Oh yeah, I would be miserable and not enjoying this view. Instead I would be hearing more bullshit that I could care less about and certainly not smiling. Pretty good turn around on things, but, again, on the flip side (shit, I think I writing circles about circles), thoughts are consumed with questions and answers that no one says out loud. Awesome! You just took the scenic route to get right back to the same rut you wanted away from in the first place. The mailing address listed at that residence is: P.O. Box: What Am I Doing Here!?, Suck City, U.S.A., 00000. You know what is a much better place than Suck City, Population You and Your Significant Other? The place where an infinite number of the best kept secrets are behind the smiles and laughs of the citizens. It's called Independentville. Unlike Suck City, you will also find that the term Love is summed up as it is in movies and heart break is best said in the form of pop songs. You won't find it on a map but if you keep looking it will soon appear.

You can't truly appreciate a place (state of mind) or person until you have removed yourself from it, that's just how it works. And you really need to remove yourself completely. You need to burn the bridge or bomb the town, get lost in a new place, find new people and experiences and then, when and if you are ready, you return. Time and distance, I suppose. Not running away but just getting away and continuing on. Upon return the small changes are noticed and appreciated. And that resolve? Well, you don't always get resolve in life so it become less and less important. Depending on that one answer is so minute it becomes entirely pointless.

Anyway, travel, whether literal, spiritual, metaphorical or what have you, is always good but what's better is getting back to normal with some new found insight and without some old the things (all your stuff is in a box next to the dumpster). New perspective gives birth to growth and growth is what makes life move forward. Birth and growth are like the cycle of life. I think I read that on a cereal box once.

I guess the point is don't fall into those horrible patterns that get you absolutely nowhere. If you've seen it once and it didn't take, chances are it will not take the second time around. It seems much better thinking of a bad place from a good location as opposed to a good place from a bad location (dive bars make for good times). Speaking of unfun locations and bad places to be with complete and utter regret, I have received a high number of letters from the incarcerated over the past few weeks. I think I will scan and post those before the weekend. Alright, safe travels.

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