Mayor Rahm: Sofa King of Chicago | Bleader

Friday, July 19, 2013

Mayor Rahm: Sofa King of Chicago

Posted By on 07.19.13 at 10:21 AM

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Some people think Rahms a real butt(on) face.
It's been a month or two since I've been to the Mothership—the Reader's office—which happens to be located in the blighted, high-poverty neighborhoood known as River North.

For all you folks unfamiliar with Chicago, River North's not really a blighted, high-poverty neighborhood. On the contrary, it's one of the wealthiest corners of town. But that's not stopping Mayor Emanuel from giving $29.5 million to some exceedingly wealthy developers so they can get even wealthier constructing an exceedingly upscale office high rise.

Excuse my tangent . . .

Awaiting me at the office was a pile of mail that included a small box with a return address in Bridgeport. Inside were 14 colorful and comical political buttons, mostly dedicated to mocking the abovementioned mayor.

This was the second batch of buttons dedicated to this theme sent to me by the mysterious Bridgeport Buttonman. The first batch included my personal favorite—a picture of a man with his head up his ass, captioned: "Official Chicago Mayoral Portrait."

I'm still laughing over that one.

I happened to be with Paul John Higgins and Jennifer McLaughlin—two of the Reader's art directors—when I opened the box. We had a great time laughing at the one that showed Mayor Rahm clutching a rubber chicken, captioned: "Chicken choker."

And the one showing him in a punchbowl, captioned: "Turd in the punch bowl."

And the one that showed him dressed as Al Capone, captioned: "Chi-town hustler."

Plus, there were some buttons making fun of Attorney General Lisa Madigan, who deserves the needling, if only because she didn't have the guts to stand up to Mayor Emanuel in a fight to get CPS to turn over basic public information on the longer school day.

Like I said, a good time was had by all.

But there's one button I didn't understand. It showed a picture of Mayor Emanuel holding an old-fashioned machine gun—like the one Al Capone might have used—and the caption read: "Sofa King Corrupt."

"I don't get it," I said.

"Sofa King," said Jen.

"I still don't get it."

"Say it all together," she suggested.

So I went . . .

"Sofa king corrupt. Oh, my god! So fucking corrupt! I get it—I get it."

She smiled as if to say, some guys are just a little slower than others.

"Listen," I pleaded. "Please don't tell anyone that I didn't immediately get the joke."

They assured me that my secret's safe.

On the other hand, I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that Mayor Emanuel would have got it right away. He may not know shit about the Blackhawks, but as we all know f-bombs are his expertise.

In any event . . .

Hey, Bridgeport Buttonman—whoever you may be—the latest batch are great!

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