Mayor Rahm goes on vacation and the City Council undoes all his damage! | Bleader

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Mayor Rahm goes on vacation and the City Council undoes all his damage!

Posted By on 12.26.12 at 01:17 PM

Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe

In Bens dream, Roderick Sawyer would become mayor.
It's all a dream . . .

As soon as Mayor Rahm went on a well-deserved Christmas-break vacation, the City Council moved to undo all of his damage!

They replaced Mayor Rahm with Alderman Roderick Sawyer. Then they quickly hired back all the city workers Mayor Rahm had fired from the Water Call Center, O'Hare, and the mental clinics. The so-called cuts hadn't really saved us much money. So might as well give the dollars to Chicagoans, as opposed to companies in Japan.

Then they took back the $30-or-so million in TIF money the mayor wants to give to some of the world’s richest developers to build a skyscraper in one of Chicago’s richest communities and used it to reopen mental health clinics that the mayor had closed.

Then they took the $35-or-so million in TIF money that the mayor wants to give to developers in Hyde Park—including the University of Chicago—and used it for art and music and theater in all the public schools.

The University of Chicago said they didn't want the handout anyway, 'cause it violated their heartfelt beliefs in free and open markets.

Then they convinced the state to take back the tax break they gave the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, so there would be money to hire new cops to patrol in high-crime areas.

Then they slapped a tax on transactions at the exchange and used the money to help with the pension crisis, as opposed to robbing the police/firefighters/teachers' widows and orphans' funds. Essentially, the bright idea of the day.

Then they renounced the digital billboard deal, saying they needed to figure out whether we were getting the best deal possible for us or the best deal for the billboard operators.

Then they told the charter-school operators that if they were going to take public money, they had to pay their teachers a union wage, as opposed to getting them to work on the cheap. Which is generally what the charter-school movement is all about.

Then instead of directing city lawyers to fight against the parking meter deal lawsuit—as the mayor's doing—they directed city lawyers to fight for that lawsuit, on the grounds that they should apply any pressure they can to shorten this wretched deal.

Then they convinced the White Sox and Bears and Bulls and Blackhawks to give back the public money they have received in handouts and/or tax breaks. Which caused the Cubs to say, sorry, but after our horrendous century of play, we're ashamed to ask for a handout.

Yeah, right—like any of that will ever happen.

Then police chief Garry McCarthy confessed that bringing NATO to town was a big waste of time, money and manpower, saying: "That was Mayor Rahm’s dumb idea—I swear!"

And school boss Barbara Byrd-Bennett apologized for the school-closing machinations and deceptions, saying: "Mayor Rahm made us do it—no lie!"

And Alderman Joe Moore said—I'm free! And he immediately revived his living-wage campaign.

All in all, everyone behaved like the Democrats they are instead of the Romney Republicans Mayor Rahm wants them to be.

And then I awoke with a bad case of indigestion from all the rich food and drink I'd consumed over the holiday.

Alas, it was only a dream . . .

Tags: , , , ,

Comments (8)

Showing 1-8 of 8

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-8 of 8

Add a comment

More by Ben Joravsky

  • Listen to <em>The Ben&nbsp;Joravsky Show</em>

    Listen to The Ben Joravsky Show

    The Ben Joravsky Show is streamed Tuesdays through Fridays between 1 and 3 PM and airs live on the Chicago Reader and Sun-Times websites. It is also being released as a podcast each day after the live taping.
    • Oct 18, 2019
  • The show goes on

    The show goes on

    One era ends and another begins for our beloved First Tuesdays.
    • Oct 16, 2019
  • Size matters

    Size matters

    Chicago teachers have almost no relief for overcrowded classrooms.
    • Oct 9, 2019
  • More »

Agenda Teaser

Performing Arts
His Shadow 16th Street Theater, Berwyn Cultural Center
September 05

Tabbed Event Search

The Bleader Archive

Popular Stories