Writing about a controversial Harper's cover in the style of the Harper's Index | Bleader

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Writing about a controversial Harper's cover in the style of the Harper's Index

Posted By on 05.29.12 at 02:55 PM

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The above will likely go unread.
  • The above will likely go unread
Number of ocelots on the cover of the June 2012 issue of Harper's: 1.

Number of ocelots in south Texas, as of 2002: between 80 and 120.

Number of (presumably) half-naked hipsters on the cover of the June 2012 issue of Harper's: 1.

Number of half-naked hipsters at a barbecue I went to over the weekend: 2.

Number of issues of Harper's that I've read since I subscribed to the magazine a year ago: 1.

Number of times I've been down on myself for not reading Harper's, even though I pay for a subscription: 15.

Number of cookies I wish were on the counter to the right of my desk: 12.

Number of cookies I plan on eating from this pile: 12.

Number of cookies that will not be eaten by me, and will probably be consumed by my coworkers: 10.

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