How to file a police report when NATO is in town | Bleader

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

How to file a police report when NATO is in town

Posted By on 05.29.12 at 12:21 PM

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Worth a try, I guess
  • Worth a try, I guess
The following account is based on a true story.

Step 1. Get burgled the evening before the last day of the NATO summit.

Step 2. Figure out what's missing, breathe a sigh of relief it wasn't worse, and call 311. Recorded message asks to leave a good time to call back. Say: anytime.

Step 3. Call 311 again. (See Step 2.)

Step 4. Not hearing back from 311, contact local alderman's office just to inform of a burglary in the hood. Alderman's office gives contact info for local district police station.

Step 5. Call 311 again. (See Steps 2 and 3.)

Step 6. File a report via the Chicago Police Department’s Online Reporting System.

Step 7. Wait.

Step 8. Wait some more.

Step 9. Go to store where you bought the laptop that was stolen and get duplicate receipt to help police with more info to add to your online report.

Step 10. Go to police station suggested by your alderman's office. Discover that it's not the correct station for your district. Note that the officers here were very helpful.

Step 11. Inform alderman's office of the bad intel re local police station.

Step 12. Get an e-mail response from the CPD online reporting system: Your Online Police Report TXXXXXXXX Has Been Rejected


We're sorry the following problem was found during review of your submitted report TXXXXXXXX. Please call 311 or (312) XXX-XXXX to complete your report.

Thank you,

Online Officer
Chicago Police Department

Step 13. Go to your actual local police department. The very helpful officers there suggest following up with 311 and having a technician come out to the crime scene.

Step 14. Call (312) XXX-XXXX. Explain situation to 311. Technician can't be sent out because crime happened a week ago. Think 311 responder must be having a really bad day. Get put on hold. Line goes dead.

Step 15. Give up.

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