Hoggamus, higgamus, Mitt's not polygamous | Bleader

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hoggamus, higgamus, Mitt's not polygamous

Posted By on 03.08.12 at 04:30 PM

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  • poster photo/Jamie Luther
On his "Rational Irrationality" blog this morning, the New Yorker's John Cassidy addressed a memo to Mitt Romney, in which he recommended that he just be himself.

"Don’t be so worried about being depicted as a closet liberal," Cassidy advised. "You pay fifteen per cent tax; you’ve been married to the same women for forty-odd years."

The same women?

Cassidy went on to discuss Romney's Mormonism in the next paragraph—so maybe this was a Mormon-related slip. ("Women" has now been corrected to "woman.") Then again, until we see Mitt's long-form marriage license, how do we really know he has only one wife?

But giving him the benefit of the doubt—and with apologies to Dorothy Parker, Ogden Nash, William James, or whoever actually penned the jingle—repeat after us, John Cassidy:

Hoggamus, higgamus, Mitt's not polygamous
Higgamus, hoggamus, he's really monogamous.

Or if he is secretly polygamous, and wins the presidency, and falls from grace, at least we'll get a new TV show out of it: "Next week on The Good Wives..."

And speaking of hoggamus, higgamus:

Hoggamus, higgamus, Santorum's ridiculous,
Higgamus, hoggamus, but rarely monotonous.

Hinsonant, honsonant, Ron Paul's views are consonant
Honsonant, hinsonant, he's nauseated by government.

Hipital, hapital, Mitt is adaptable
Hapital, hipital, and rolling in capital.

Hindering, handering, Newt's talent is pandering
Handering, hindering, and also philandering.

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