A Chicagocentric Mother's Day Gift Guide | Bleader

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A Chicagocentric Mother's Day Gift Guide

Posted By on 05.06.10 at 02:54 PM

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Do you know what you're getting mom for Mother's Day yet? Don't say "a country and western puppy e-card that I didn't have to pay for" because that is totally the wrong answer. So is "Supermarket flowers that smell like moldy basements," "Altoids," and "Nothing, I hate my mom." Your mother sacrificed so much so you could become the person you are today and deserves the best presents possible. So in the spirit of public service journalisms, here are some quality choices, culled from the racks of your mother's favorite stores, Zazzle and CafePress:

Does your mom cook up a lot of hot and spicy foods in her selfless, loving kitchen? A Rahm Emanuel apron will inspire her to keep shakin' her pepper shaker:

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This anti-Alderman Helen Shiller tote will have mom asking, "Who the hell is Helen Shiller, and where is she going?" And you may respond, "she is an alderman and daughter of the man who perfected fake suede, allegedly, and she's probably not going anywhere, actually":

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Or maybe your mother actually is Helen Shiller—or some other alderwoman, in which case this "kiss me" ladies' T-shirt will help her collect electoral smooches:

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"Hey mom, I thought a T-shirt listing unrelated factoids, tax stats, and politicians' names would go with your tinfoil hat":

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Remember when you were little, and your mom lulled you to sleep with her cherished copy of Bedtime With Keynes? This sweatshirt lambasting the economic philosophy of U. of C. prof. Milton Friedman, known alternately as the father of modern capitalism and the father of global misery, will help her remember those times all over again. Long sleeves = perfect for wiping tears of nostalgia from motherly cheeks:

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For the mother-to-be in your life, this retro "Seat Burris" maternity shirt is as roomy as his tomb:

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Does your mother like jails? Does she like racy underwear with jail stuff on them? If so, then she'll love this thong, which celebrates the "Crook County Jail" as "Chicago's Most Luxurious Resort" (Chicago has resorts?):

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Ex-gov Rod Blagojevich's corruption trial is scheduled to start next month, and your mom needs a stylish vessel to drink out of when she talks about the case with her gal pals. This Blago hair mug will add fashion flair to her coffee klatsch:

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Hope these suggestions helped! See you on Father's Day, with gift ideas for dad.

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