Get busy, these papers aren't going to sell themselves | Bleader

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Get busy, these papers aren't going to sell themselves

Posted By on 01.14.09 at 09:21 AM

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Was thinking about the big stories of the year, and realized that among them are: Obama, Blagojevich, the rising murder rate in Chicago, and... the fact that local journalism is on death's door1. I know times are really tough, but clearly the city at least tried to help.

2009 is going to be worse, economically. So Chicago better fucking step up with some news--some even bigger news--or we the working press are so screwed. My suggestions:

* Daley trades the rights to the 2016 Olympics and three years worth of Lollapalooza to London for the 2012 Olympics. We might not be around in 2016. We'll ignore any TIFs you foist on us. We just can't wait that long.

* Pat Quinn removes Roland Burris somehow and appoints Jeff Tweedy. Grant Achatz? We are running out of famous people.

* Oprah runs for Rahm's House seat.

* I don't know who or what but someone has to figure out an even more insane and newsworthy form of corruption. (Blago can't be our Lou Gehrig farewell speech.) Like, Todd Stroger needs to start hiring PR armies of illegal immigrant minors to write press releases, or Dick Durbin needs to sell his body for a veto-proof majority. We're dying here, you guys figure something out.

* Not so much a story as a content suggestion, but TribCo should make Sam Zell, Randy Michaels, and Lee Abrams do a WGN show so it's clear they're doing their part. Also, it would rule. 

1. The other possibility is that it doesn't matter what you put in a newspaper these days. Looking forward to Red Eye II: Lorem ipsum dolor.

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