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With a stench like urine stewed in Frank's Red Hot, Falcon Inn has "diviest honky tonk in Hyde Park" all wrapped up. It’s got basic beer (Buds, PBRs), Spider-Man pinball, and music that's louder than you'd expect. If you're lucky, the window to Cholie's Pizza Restaurant next door will be bolted, for your own good: one late-night slice lights a gastrointestinal grease fire I'd wager even the frostiest brew couldn't quench. But the place is hopping, even on a Sunday after midnight. Barack Obama's framed mug lends some austerity to the place. —Jena Cutie

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