My Pitchfork itinerary: Ratso 

The puppet cohost of Chic-a-Go-Go yips for Milk Music and Vampire Weekend

Don't miss our critics' reviews of all the bands playing Sunday.

1 PM: Being an underage puppet with tinnitus, my recommendations are suspect. But I've interviewed bands at every Pitchfork, so here goes.

2 PM: I don't know who Milk Music is, but I love milk and music, and when seeing 80 acts you've never heard of, "awesome name" is a legit criterion.

2:30 PM: Scurrying from Iceage to Thee Oh Sees to Ty Segall, and boy are my paws tired!

3:45 PM: "The Men" is not a good band name, but at least they're what they say they are.

4:45 PM: Last year during a set by throwback LA MC Dam-Funk, I got bored and bailed—then he took out a keytar! Though Kendrick Lamar likely won't utilize Revenge of the Nerds-style instrumentation, I'm not missing a second.

5 PM: Soundplay Arcade has video games based on songs from Pitchfork-beloved acts, which will certainly be lame, but not as lame as waiting an hour in line to play Grizzly Bear Versus Capcom.

6:15PM: AraabMuzik is fun to dance to, and I like being around motivated pretty ladies.

7:30 PM: Beach House is dreamy, and I'm tired. Sleepy + dreams = perfect!

8 PM: The record dealers at the CHIRP fair will be desperate to move stock. Gonna haggle down that Pac Man Fever vinyl I've been eyeballin'!

8:30 PM: Last time Vampire Weekend played Pitchfork, I got their manager's number from a college radio kid who'd gone through legit avenues. The lady yelled at me. The band seems nicer than she is. Maybe too nice to cap the fest—past years have had Lips and Mutantes closing with explosions.

Next: Barry Owen on Oneohtrix Point Never and the Field

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