Caught in the Net 

Readings From Cyberspace, v.1.02

Captured at newsgroup alt.scottish.clans

From: MACLEAN@ venus.. cc. hollandc. pe. ca (Betty MacLean)

Subject: I need help with haggis...please?

I know somebody out there somewhere, MUST know a recipe for haggis. : )

Please?

From: agnewks@nbnet.nb.ca (Scott Agnew)

Subject: Re: I need help with haggis...please?

Heer ya go lass!

1 stomach bag

8 oz shredded mutton

liver, lights (lungs), and heart of a sheep suet

salt

1 breakfast cup of oatmeal

black pepper

2 onions

--Clean stomach bag thoroughly and leave overnight in cold water to which salt has been added.

--Turn rough side out. Put heart, lights and liver in a pan.

--Bring to the boil and simmer for one and one half hours.

--Toast the oatmeal on a tray in the oven or under the grill.

--Chop the heart, lights and liver.

--Mix all the ingredients together with the suet, adding salt and pepper.

--Keep mixture sappy (moist), using the liquid in which the liver was boiled.

--Fill bag a little over half full, as mixture needs room to swell.

--Sew bag securely and put in a large pot of hot water.

--As soon as mixture begins to swell, prick with a needle to prevent bag from bursting.

--Boil for 3 hours.

Serve with mashed potatoes and mashed neeps (turnips).

This mixture will serve 6 - 8 people.

Captured at the World Wide Web page http:// pubweb. parc. xerox. com/ hypertext/whimsy/ jabberwocky-ala-newton. html

Jabberwocky ala Newton

You've always wondered what Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky was about. Well, Robert McNally wrote it on his Newton, which so helpfully deciphered it as follows. [The Apple Newton is a handheld computer with a tiny screen that can be written upon; it purports to correctly interpret its owner's handwriting.] TABLESPOONS

Teas Willis, and the sticky tours

Did gym and Gibbs in the wake.

All mimes were the borrowers,

And the moderate Belgrade.

"Beware the tablespoon my son,

The teeth that bite, the Claus that catch.

Beware the Subjects bird, and shred

The serious Bandwidth!"

He took his Verbal sword in hand:

Long time the monitors fog he sought,

So rested he by the Tumbled tree,

And stood a while in thought.

And as in selfish thought he stood,

The tablespoon, with eyes of Flame,

Came stifling through the trigger wood,

And troubled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and though,

The Verbal blade went thicker shade.

He left it dead, and with its head,

He went gambling back.

"And host Thai slash the tablespoon?

Come to my arms my bearish boy.

Oh various day! Cartoon! Cathay!"

He charted in his joy.

Teas Willis, and the sticky tours

Did gym and Gibbs in the wake.

All mimes were the borrowers,

And the moderate Belgrade.

copyright 1993 Robert McNally

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