When shit gets bad I won't be looking for advice from a flabby-chested tagger who read a couple mass-market "survival" guides to learn about his true-self.
I can just imagine it: "Hey, man...page 26 says we should build a fucking lean-to...you guys gather sticks, I'm gonna ink my name on this rock."
What did they expect? This article is sort of the perfect storm of the author's name-dropping and peculiar need to be in on something 'different' every week, and the vendors' trash-talking the very institutions who might take offense at being told they suck at their jobs---institutions with the power to shut them down. Not smart. Sula is one of those guys you take fishing who ends up talking about the location of your best fishing holes at the bar you stop at on the way home [pretty soon no one wants to fish with these guys and we can just hope that the same holds true with him ].
Yawn. Yet another Mike Sula Column. He takes an ordinary food, and decides to dig up some seemingly obscure variation of it, like the baon from his article and act as if it's a discovery to publish its whereabouts. Rogue Ham! Artisanal Jam! Hispanic Sammiches!
He then claims to be in on some dark-art subculture who possess the zeal required to persist in creating this obscure variation. I can hardly wait for him to write "The Saltine With 14 Holes." He'll document the struggles of making such a delicacy..."early attempts met with failure, the 13-hole Saltine had too few holes, the 15-hole Saltine too many. But one day, using an abacus loaned them by an aunt from rural Pennsylvania and a recipe from a saged thread of the Usenet saltine archives, they were met with the holy grail of saltines---the 14 hole saltine was realized, pale and yet golden all at once."
As long as these obscure foods are produced in some sort of yuppified, sun-lit kitchen, or perhaps sold swhere he can keep an eye on his expensive, European wheels while he pays with fresh twenties, Sula will be impressed. As soon as good food is accessible to everyone, he turns up his nose.