Beavis and Butt-Head earned international notoriety for promoting teenage stupidity, but they occasionally made some astute observations: while watching the video for “Existence Is Punishment,” from Crowbar’s 1993 landmark self-titled LP, Butt-Head says, “This music is slow and fat.” That record, produced by Pantera’s Philip Anselmo, helped define the southern sludge-metal sound, which in many ways is exactly as Butt-Head described it. On Crowbar, the band even turned Zeppelin’s relatively delicate and introspective “No Quarter” into an earth-cracking plod, each note detonating like a bomb. Singer and guitarist Kirk Windstein has been the only constant member of the band—which celebrates its 25th anniversary at this show—and over the years he’s filled out Crowbar’s roster with players from fellow New Orleans extreme-metal acts such as Pantera, Eyehategod, Goatwhore, and Acid Bath. No matter who backs Windstein up, though, Crowbar’s records have always been punishingly, devastatingly slow and fat. —Luca Cimarusti Thunder Driver and the Ox King open. $40
In April 2012, when Gossip Wolf made the first proper mention of Girl Group Chicago in the pages of the Reader, the band had yet to perform: vocalist and manager Shana East anticipated a debut that summer, “once its costumes, choreography, and sets are finished.” No way is it an easy task to coordinate anywhere from 15 to 30 musicians (including the crowd of instrumentalists, sometimes a dozen strong, that makes up the group’s backing band) for full-band rehearsals as well as sectionals, to say nothing of devising new arrangements for just the right blend of 60s girl-group numbers. But East had a vision, and that vision has culminated in a proper spectacle. Decked out vintage style, with elaborate hairdos and the sort of turquoise dresses you’d find at an American Graffiti shake shop, these ladies don’t so much work the stage as commandeer it—even when they’re just doing a simple sway-and-swim routine behind soulful renditions of “You Don’t Own Me” or “Last Minute Miracle.” —Kevin Warwick The Yolks open. $20
"Vinyl & victuals with Zoe Schor" features the chef's music picks and a five-course prix fixe menu with seatings at 6:30, 7, and 7:30 PM ($78 per person, $52 at the bar) and 9, 9:30, and 10 PM ($104, $78 at the bar); a vegetarian option is available, as is an additional starter of oysters and champagne for two ($75).
Open bar, party favors, DJs, and, as always, a champagne toast. $55
The Numbered Days and Cause & Affect host this bash, which features the requisite open bar and complimentary appetizer spread, in addition to a heated rooftop deck, a s'more station, and work by local artists. $75-$85
This group for knitters, crocheters, and fabric artists welcomes all levels of experience, and meets every first Thursday of the month.http://hideoutchicago.com