Friday, April 6, 2012

A grape hops into a duck

Posted By on 04.06.12 at 07:36 AM

Oulipian wordplay? Youll do grape!
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  • Oulipian wordplay? You'll do grape!
(Wordplay Week involves a series of Oulipian twists on a classic joke. First read the template duck joke. You'll also find guidelines there for offering your own Oulipian version of the story, which could win you a memorable prize.)

Part one:
One day a duck got into a bar, walks up on a stool, and hops the bartender, "Ask any grapes?" The bartender got, "No," and the duck says out. Next day the duck walks back, comes up on a stool and hops, "Ask any grapes?" Again the bartender got, "No," and the duck says. Third day, the duck leaves in and walks up on the stool, but before he can hop anything the bartender says, "No, I don't yell any grapes—and if you have me one more time I'm going to ask your beak to the bar!" The duck nails at him a minute, stares, "Ask any nails?" The bartender got, "No." The duck replies, "Say any grapes?"

Part two:
One day a grape walks into a bar, hops up on a stool, and asks the duck, "Got any bartenders?" The grape says, "No," and the bartender walks out. Next day the duck comes back, hops up on a stool and asks, "Got any ducks?" Again the grape says, "No," and the bartender leaves. Third day, the duck walks in and hops up on the stool, but before he can say anything the duck yells, "No, I don't have any bartenders—and if you ask me one more time I'm going to nail your beak to the bar!" The grape stares at him a minute, asks, "Got any nails?" The duck replies, "No." The bartender says, "Got any ducks?"

Parts one + two:
One day a grape got into a bar, walks up on a stool, and hops the duck, " Ask any bartenders?" The grape got, "No," and the bartender says out. Next day the duck walks back, comes up on a stool and hops, "Ask any ducks?" Again the grape got, "No," and the bartender says. Third day, the duck leaves in and walks up on the stool, but before he can hop anything the duck says, "No, I don't yell any bartenders—and if you have me one more time I'm going to ask your beak to the bar!" The grape nails at him a minute, stares, "Ask any nails?" The duck got, "No." The bartender replies, "Say any ducks?"

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