When I woke up that morning and checked my personal e-mail, I was thrilled at first. My inbox was overflowing. Then I noticed that almost all the messages were from that reliable bearer of bad news—MAILER-DAEMON—and the cheerful subject was "Failure Notice."
Uh-oh, I thought. I hadn't sent many messages the day before. I opened one of MAILER-DAEMON's notes. It concerned a message sent from my account that fortunately hadn't gotten through to all: "Only for you hot proposal right now! Be quick!" With, of course, a link to click. This had gone to most of my contacts whose e-mails begin with the letter "J."
Another bounced message: "I and my wife recommend you to visit this site and your problem will be solved!" And the next: "Not too late to change your life!"
I figured most of my friends would realize these e-mails couldn't have been from me—they know my attitude on exclamation marks.
Other come-on lines in front of links:
"Only for you and only now all secrets of love!"
"Make your future healthier!"
"The super erection effect!!!"
I found that one particularly troubling, due to the three exclamation marks.
"Especially for you! Newest and most interesting site!"
"Do you want to improve your brain function?"
"Come on! You should visit this site immediately!"
"I promise you will feel something amazing!"
"Stop you f*cking ache! Treatment is almost in your hands!"
"Have you heard, that the President of the USA admitted that he buys meds here?"
"Now I can’t imagine myself without it! It’s fantastic!"
"My God! You must have it now or you will be a looser!"
I was indeed feeling like a looser, imagining these messages reaching many of my friends. I soon was hearing from them. Most simply warned me I'd been hacked, but some couldn't resist ribbing me. A female friend wondered why I believed she needed new life in her penis. A male friend who'd gotten the erection message thanked me for thinking of him. Another friend advised me to wash all my clothes in hot water for a month.
I changed the locks in the house and scrubbed my computer with anti-malware. I also changed my e-mail password to one so complicated even I won't ever remember it, so my account should now be secure. I and my wife recommend you do likewise!!!