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Monday, December 5, 2011

Sports Favre and Tebow: the perfect storm

Posted by Kevin Warwick on 12.05.11 at 03:38 PM

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What's ESPN thankful for this holiday season? Not only does the network get to force Tim Tebow and his insufferable hype train down our collective gullets (I'm looking at you Skip Bayless), but thanks to a rash of injured quarterbacks, they've again started beating the decomposing corpse that is Brett Favre's football career. According to what Deadspin labels as the "lamest scoop ever," Favre would talk to the Bears if they gave him a ring. "A source familiar with the quarterback said Favre would listen if the Bears made a pitch," reports ESPN. No doubt the source is rock solid. Who could even make this shit up? It's highly unlikely ESPN would listen to Favre's barber, tractor repairman, or the 83-year-old biddy that waited in line behind him at the Piggly Wiggly. That would just be flat-out ridiculous.

So what if Favre is signed tomorrow and brought in to start on Sunday (I mean, no one really wants McNabb anyway)? The last few training camps of Favre's career obviously taught us that he never really needs to practice. It's easy to assume that he'll be perfect right from the get-go, immediately erasing the ache of this past Sunday's poor showing against the Tyler Palko-led Chiefs.

There's a slight wrinkle in the plans, though. Brett Favre and the Bears will be facing Tim Tebow and his disciples. Now how's that for a story line? Unfortunately, the matchup between the two polarizing quarterbacks will likely force the football media to implode, creating an abominable black hole of analysis, predictions, and throwaway jibber-jabber that will force football fans to switch over to hockey or take interest in baseball's snooooozy winter meetings.

I'm terrified.

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