— Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich: He's got both congressional and state executive experience, and comes with a probable term limit.
— Blago-brother Rob Blagojevich: An alternative to Rod, Rob Blago isn't facing charges anymore, and seems a bit more subtle than his bro.
— Delaware Republican U.S. Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell: She'll still need a job after November 2.
— Any of these bald sports guys: "As we've learned over time, professional athletes without hair have done alright in Chicago," writes Scott Kleinberg in RedEye. Sounds good!
— Cook County board president Todd Stroger: Because he did such a good job running the county.
— Alderwoman and Cook County Board president candidate Toni Preckwinkle: The county includes the city, so why not simplify things?
— Outgoing Tribune Company CEO Randy Michaels: He'd make the city more fun, non-linear, and creative.
— Actress and humanitarian Angelina Jolie: She could adopt those of us who have student loans and other debts and take us on cool trips.
— New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan: Rent is too damn high in Chicago, too.
— Former alderwoman Dorothy Tillman: Everyone misses her, right?
— Lawyer, businessman, and brother of Mayor Daley, William M. Daley: For a new direction!
— Former Cicero town president and ex-con Betty Loren-Maltese: Former Washington, D.C. mayor Marion Barry went to prison, came out, and got reelected to public office, and he's done O.K., generally speaking.
— Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington: She's got campaign experience and would probably stop paying city employees, which would help resolve budget shortfalls.
— Pop singer Lady Gaga: She'd have to go by Lady Chicaga, though.
— Ghost of Mary Todd Lincoln: Because Ghost of Abraham Lincoln would have been too obvious.
Who are your favorite mayoral not-candidates? List them in the comments section.