Wednesday, February 28, 2007
News / Clout City Hizzoner, Junior, Da Mayor
Posted by Ben Joravsky on 02.28.07 at 04:06 PM
In recognition of Mayor Daley's big reelection win last night, one northwest-side voter, otherwise known as GetRidda Da'Bum, penned the following tribute, to be sung to the tune of Steve Goodman's classic, "The Lincoln Park Pirates" (registration required).
Hizzoner, Junior, Da Mayor
I'm your mayor, hizzoner, Junior
You voters all do what I say
I blessed Hired Truck
Though it went amok
I'll still win on election day
Cuz you guys are too scared to change me
I quintupled your taxes this year
Built Millennium Park
Using TIFs to embark
And all of Meigs Field to clear
[Chorus]
To me, way, hey
You voters must pay
So all that I wish can be mine
I'm such a spendthrift
With your unending gifts
But the voters still think that I shine
To me, way, hey
It's about me everyday
Raising each parking-lot price
Hiring back my old crooks
Don't care how it looks
My voters still think I'm real nice
I only do huge building projects
Cuz they keep you all in the dark
Without even a holler
You throw me your dollars
To destroy every one of your parks
I used to be state's attorney
Cops tortured, I let them all go
I won't fix the schools
CTA has no clue
But you still won't elect my foes
[Chorus]
I never consult my own voters
Their aldermen follow my lead
My patronage army
You may find them smarmy
HDO carries out my bad deeds
This makes all your taxes just soar
Museums, they used to be free
Now you can't afford them
So stay home, be bored then
You'll still give me a great legacy.
[Chorus]
Comments (6)
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Ben you are the best. Don't listen to the haters. This Mayor is the worst. May Ganesh bless you.
Welcome my son, welcome to the Daley machine. Where have you been? its alright we know where youve been. Youve been in the pipeline, filling in time, provided with toys and scouting for whores. You bought a Hired Truck to punish the mob, And you didnt like school, and you know your Cecil Partees fool, So welcome to the machine. Welcome my son, welcome to the Daley machine. What did you dream? its alright we told you alderman what to dream. You dreamed of a big envelope, he played a mean bribe He always ate in the steak bar. he loved to drive in his jaguar. So welcome to the Daley's machine.
It is the opinion of most of us who did not vote for the incumbent that Daley did not win--he just announced that he won!! The microchips could have been changed before the election and changed back after. Most of teh bubble packs were stil at the polling place when Daley announced reelection. He jumped the gun to appear to be the winner. Do you really believe he won the 49th Ward!! No way!! Anyway, our only hope is that the whistleblowers come forth on Daley, the Board of Election Commissioners, and the machines--both the Democratic machine, the Sequoia Touchscreens, and Langdon Neal's office. What a dynasty--Daley has influence in the White House, Ireland, Israel, Chicago, Cook County and most of the state of Illinois. I wonder what he writes in his mental diary about his outcomes.
Actually, our best hope for 'reform' lies not in any authority's actions, but in the possibility of the overwhelming numbers of votes which could be generated if the ambivalent non-voters and the disappointed idealist voters were to apply the simple, mathematical voting strategy proposed by the ever mysterious and always logical 'spock' posted above. First focus on 'firing' ALL incumbents; then see how many and varied candidates seek to replace them. Sure, the political hacks will put up their shills, but, what the heck, nobody promised that good governance was going to be easy! But, with a whole new crop of unknown faces running for office, we voters will be forced to pay attention and actively engage in the democratic process. And well we should. We, the people, just need to see evidence that our individual vote does matter. What better evidence of this can anyone think of, than to successfully fire ALL incumbents running for re-election. And what more efficient strategy can anyone come up with than that which has been proposed by 'spock'? I say, let's give it a try. What have we got to lose?
